Star Wars: The Second Coming

Chapter 34: Is This True?

I had no idea if she actually knew where Luke Skywalker was. She seemed convinced that she knew herself. It certainly wouldn't hurt to take the chance. She seemed so much different. After she talked with my mother....I don't know what happened. She didn't come out the same and she won't tell me what's going on.

We went back to the ship. I don't think we should head straight for him just yet. I need to train her a lot more before I think she can face him or her sister. She needs time and training. I went to my chambers to clean up. I heard a knock at my door and it slid open. "Kylo, I need to go alone" her voice spoke so coldly. I took off my mask and I looked into her eyes. Nothing but anger. She seemed...stronger. "I won't let-" She interrupted me. I could feel my anger rising. "No, I will go alone. You WILL not stop me" She spoke sternly. "Luitenant, you will not go alone and that's an order. You will not disobey me and you will not interrupt me ever again" I spoke just as harsh, walking up to her. Her angry eyes peered into mine. All of this was making me blood boil and I felt the tug. I could see the pain in her eyes. So lonely. So lost. "Go back to your chambers" I spoke coldly, clenching my fists. She left my chambers without a word. I hated being angry towards her but if that's what it took to become more powerful, that's what I'll do. She keeps pushing me away anyways.

I sat on the large bed and lost myself in my dark, angry, confusing thoughts. 'You don't need to be so angry towards her. Oh come on, she means nothing to you. SHUT UP, you will do what you must to become the strongest Master of the Knights of Ren. You love her and you know it. You don't want to lose her. You don't want to hurt her.' I rubbed my temples. My mind was not at ease. It hardly ever was but this time was a bit different. She was on my mind a lot more then ever. Was I really in love? I couldn't possibly be in love. Love is weakness. Love is something I cannot believe. She means nothing to me. My mother means nothing to me. Alexia means nothing to me. None of them matter.

I felt my right side. The scar. I killed my father. The wookie shot me. I thought of the pain all of this caused me. All of the pain I felt from all that I've lost and destroyed. I let it fuel me this time. I couldn't let it consume me. Not right now. I needed to gain strength. At the same time, I felt alone. I didn't want her to go by herself but I also didn't want to be by myself.

Why did she make me feel inferior? I don't understand this. I feel myself becoming weak and foolish. Snoke can sense it. The pull to the light has never been stronger. He can sense it. He can see it. I have to be cold. No more Ben. Ben is gone.

--- Few Days Later ---

I went to the training room and I took off my helmet. Exposing my long dark hair. I pushed it out of my face. I heard someone come behind me. "I'm leaving." Her cold voice spoke, echoing in the room. I turned around go face her. "You will not disobey me" I mumbled harshly. She trys to walk away but I grab her arms. "You're not going anywhere" she winced and then pulled herself closer to me. I realized how hard I was holding her wrists and let go. She grazed her soft hands over the scar on my face, making me flinch slightly. "You're weak" She spoke, her voice calm and cold. Before I could comprehend my actions she was against the wall. "I'm stronger then you know" I spat. "I'm stronger then you, stronger then Darth Vader!" I brought my hand close to her face and I entered her mind with no remorse. I saw the visions, I saw what she saw. "GET OUT OF MY HEAD" She yelled, pushing me away as hard as she could. She was boiling with anger. "You promised you would never do that to me" She spoke and I could hear the hurt. "You had information of where Luke and your sister were and you hid it from me" I spat. She left the room. This time, I didn't stop her.