Star Wars: The Second Coming

Chapter 40: I Have To

My eyes opened and I could feel that I wasn't were I wanted to be. I wasn't with my father, or with the one I love so deeply. I am alone, angry, scared, and sad. I have my sister, finally, but I didn't at the same time. She doesn't trust me. As much as I don't want to be here, I feel like I have to be. Like I need to be here. At this point I feel both cold and calm. Both sides call to me. It's internal warfare.

I finally get the motivation to get up. I dressed myself into the most suitable for training. Black? On me? It was different. All black, at least. I made sure my mind was guarded and I headed to the training room. I could feel the eyes of storm troopers on me. I could hear their thoughts. They didn't respect me. I'll have to give them a reason to. I finally arrived and it was early. I was alone for a while. Enough time to gather my feelings.

I grabbed my new lightsaber that was provided for me in the training room. I decided I'd keep my old one and use both. I turned them both on and I mixed my fighting styles. It was a quite different fighting with two sabers. I activated some of the training driods and I began training a bit before anyone arrived.

I could still feel my father. I felt him when I left. I want to believe I cut the bond but this feeling....I don't know. I have to bury it. I have to hide it deep within in. Lock it away. All of the light within me, gone. I feel angry. I'm angry at him for not telling me any of this and hiding me away. I lived my whole life a lie. I lived my whole life thinking my family was dead. I have to destroy the light. I am no longer the daughter Luke Skywalker once knew. I am no longer the girl Rey fell in love with. She is gone.

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I scanned the face of my father. We had been training all day. I was tired but I was getting stronger with his training. He looked at me. I could see how proud he was of me.

"You're a natural. I always knew you were strong." He rested his hand on my shoulder and we began walking back to the temple.

"Why did you leave?" I stopped and turned to look at him. He never explained this to me. "Why did you leave me and my sis- me and Kya?" I still have a hard time calling her blood, but she's always my sister.

He pondered my question for a while. "I knew you would be safe with her. I knew Ben wouldn't have killed her. He cared for you both, killing you would have hurt her. I knew she would have taken care of you. An I- I had to go into exile." It was difficult for him to talk about it. I could see that.

"I know what I had to do to protect you. You are my daughter, Alexia. I love you till the ends of the galaxy. I had to protect you" I could hear the compassion and pain in his voice. I could feel his guilt.

"I forgive you. Despite the pain I endured, I forgive you. I didn't know you were my father then, but I still loved you. I will always love you. You have to forgive yourself and let go of your guilt." I hugged him tight.

"You have become much wiser then I could ever hope" He smiled and embraced me.

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I was training harder then I have in a long time. I felt my anger build within me and I buried my memories. I felt a presence and I stopped. Kya walked in before Ren. She gave me a cold stare. I couldn't see her face but I could sense her distrust of me. Ren walked in and they began training. I sat down to rest and I watched as they trained.

The way they fought together was almost melodic. Like a dance. They pushed each other in places they would not push themselves. It reminded me of when we were kids. I'd watch them train together,  grow together. Their bond could never be broken.

General Hux walked in, interrupting their training. "Ren, we have a few prisoners." He sent me a look and I could sense his disrespect and fear. I could see he didn't respect them or me but he obeyed his orders. "Yes, of course" He spoke through his helmet.

He left the room and Kya stood their silent for a while. She put her hilt on her belt and made her way towards me. "So, I assume you know the truth of your lineage." I didn't know where she'd go with this.