Tainted Love - Drarry

Chapter Twelve

WARNING: Extremely triggering and graphic. Proceed with caution.  

Draco 

It was a weird week to put it simply.

We still ate every meal with the Gryffindor trio. We still hung out with them in the common room. I still smiled at Harry when he walked by me, or when we shared a class together. 

But he seemed off. 

And when Harry is off, I am also off. 

It's not like he wasn't being his normal self, no. But he was talking a little bit less. And he always seemed to be so deep in thought, sort of disconnected from everyone around him. And especially disconnected from me. Now I didn't expect us to come right out and be all lovey-dovey with each other. But I would have thought, maybe he would try to see me in private. Or make plans to go on another date. Or anything really, to show some sign that he still had feelings for me and that they hadn't vanished within a day or two. 

After about three days of this, I decided maybe I should say something. 

After the last class of the day, which for me was Herbology, I headed to the common room. Harry was usually there around this time. As I headed through the threshold of the room, I noticed Harry sitting by the window, seemingly lost in thought as I expected. I quietly walked up to the chair next to him and sat down. He noticed me sit down and flashed me a small smile and mumbled 'hello' before going back to thinking about whatever he was thinking about. 

"How has your week been?" I asked trying to start a conversation. 

"Fine I guess," he mumbled, yet again. Well clearly this wasn't going anywhere. I decided to pop the question I had been wanting to ask all day. 

"So Harry, there's another trip to Hogsmede coming up this weekend. Do you maybe want to go grab some lunch or something? Maybe a cuppa?" 

"Uh, I have a lot of work to do this weekend. Sorry." he replied half heartedly. What? Harry never had work on the weekends. He barely even did this coursework during the week! Maybe he was just ignoring me....Oh Merlin I hope not. I don't think I could handle that right now. 

"Well how about next week we do something. Go down to the lake? Grab dinner together? Anything?" I'm aware that I was starting to sound desperate but frankly I didn't care. 

"Look Draco," he started, turning towards me, "I'm just...really loaded with work to do for the next couple of...I don't really know how long. I'll let you know when I'm free I guess," he said before gathering this things. 

"Oh. Ok, that's fine I guess. I'll see you later then?" He didn't even reply. Just waved and walked away. 

And just like that, I felt myself falling apart all over again. Did I say something? Why was he giving me such a cold shoulder? Did he decide he didn't like me anymore? Decide he didn't like boys anymore? Was I just a game for him? What was going on??

I was running towards my room before I could even register my actions. I threw the door open and slammed and locked it just as fast, tears beginning to prick in my eyes. I ran towards my desk and grabbed a pencil, quickly transfiguring it into a blade. That A+ in McGonigal's class was useful for something, considering Pansy had cleared out my previous stash. 

Before I could think, or even try to stop myself from hurting myself once again, I walked into my bathroom, sunk down to the floor and drove the newly created knife into my already marked up skin. Tears blurred my vision even further, and sobs racked through me as I plunged the all to farmiliar sharp object into my skin, over and over again. I couldn't control myself. The smallest things could set me off these days. I felt pathetic that I had let myself sink to this level. I finally decided I had had enough after ten new wounds had been formed on each of my arms.