DaveKat Medievalstuck AU

Sarcasm

~Karkat~ 

"Interesting? I'd use something more along the lines of 'just stab me now, you'd be doing me a favor'" Dave chuckled at my attempt to hint at my death. I narrowed my eyes at him "I'm glad you find this funny because in a few moments you won't be able to feel anything." I lifted my fist in the air and went in for a punch before stopping right in front of his face. He didn't move an inch or try to block me; he's good. He moved his lips in a straight line and spoke monotonously, "Wow Karkat, you're a fuckin' Saint for not putting a dent in my face. Really appreciate it." I snorted. "No biggie, but you totally owe me for it." Daves face crinkled up as he put his hands into his pockets. He then proceeded to lift his hands back out forcefully, the inside of his pockets coming with. "But I got no muns. Sorry, K, but you'll have to give me instructions on how to repay you." I rubbed my chin to animate my thinking when in reality I had no clue, not that it even mattered. "I will dismiss you for now." Then I waved my hand at him to leave, except I knew he wouldn't. I flopped my back against the wall, Dave joining me in standing. "So, Dave, are you really gonna waste your time standing around here all night instead of hanging around your millions of friends?" Dave just sighed and looked up at me "In all reality I only have two friends, I mostly stick to the shadows nowadays, but I used to be really out there. The only friends that have really stuck by me through all my missions is John, Jade, and my sisters and brother. Family members don't really count as friends though since they're born into loving me." I folded my arms across my chest and felt the cotton fabric from my shirt. "I really only have two friends too...all the other 10 practically abandoned me at some point or another but..." My body chilled at what I was about to say; something that I'd probably regret, "Dave...I..I'll be your...friend." Daves eyebrows lifted significantly, "wow are you sure because you had a real hard time saying that." My eyebrow twitched in frustration. "I, Karkat Vantas of the Kingdom of Earth, solemnly swear to be one of David Strider's most loyal and best friends for the rest of my existence." I took the hand off of my chest from the pledge. A hand I didn't even know I was pledging with. Dave nodded in approval and added a 'cute'. Then I muttered an 'asshole' which I purposely said loud enough for him to hear.

Dave then walked up to me and put his arm around my shoulders while moving his arm in front of my face horizontally. "I can imagine it now Karkat. We'll be 'best buds' for years and then when we make it to our twenties we'll start dating and fall in love and have children after our marriage on a sandy beach." I grabbed his arm with my thumb and pointer finger and threw it off of me as if it were toxic waste. It's not that he wasn't SUPER ATTRACTIVE, it's just that he's too much like me. And I hate me. He shrugged, "Fine, fine. We don't have to make babies I guess, but you gotta admit that we're a pretty sweet team. What do ya say about making us a team after tonight. Like, officially on quests and stuff. I'll be honest, it's more fun when someone's around. Even if I considered you an enemy most of the trip, I loved having you around..." I had a little slideshow of everything that happened in my mind. The slideshow stopped at the point where Dave and I had cuddled all night by the fire. I quickly shook my head out of the image so I didn't make my blush grow even more. Why can't I just take a compliment like everyone else?!

-Dave- 

Karkat blushed and got even further away from me in response to my proposal. Guess he can't take a compliment, huh! Not that I'm any different..."You don't have to if you don't want to, I mean..." He  shook his arms in an x in front of him to signal a no "No, Dave! Of course I'd like to team with you. It's not like I have any other friends here..." It went silent as we both slump to the floor; backs on the wall. It looks like we were both tired of standing. Or maybe just tired in general..."Hey, uh, Karkat?" "Y-yeah?" I rustled uncomfortably on the hard ground. "Do you want to lay down? I have some blankets on the other side of the bars. Karkat replied by yawning and nodding his head. I moved my way over to the bars and pulled out two blankets. Looks like we'll have to share if we want to cover up the cold floor. "Here." I threw him a plain blue blanket "Spread this one on the floor in the corner, we'll use this one-" I said as I held up a red one "-to cover up our top sides." Karkat didn't bother to reply and just began working. I stood up and waltzed over to blow out the light. The room was now almost completely dark except for a barred window above us where the moonlight shone through. It actually radiated off of the walls. Karkat was already cozied up and waiting for me to add my body heat. I laid down right next to Vantas and felt him tense up. "Yo, KK, you alright? You keep freaking out every time I get near you." Our backs were touching while our faces were turned opposite of eachother. I heard a voice pipe up from the other side, "It's confession time, Strider." I shrugged so that he could feel it and then muttered "Lay it on me."