#life

Dispatches on the road...

You have a new text message from: LINDZI, 2:31 AM PST

"Got a plan. Do not -- Repeat: DO NOT contact Derek until hear back from me. Will fill in details later. XOXO"

You have a new text message from: LINDZI, 2:53 AM PST

"Will be hearing from Tiffany -- Apology going up as DATE REFLECTION -- still in damage-control mode. XOXO"

You have a new text message from: LINDZI, 3:07 AM PST

"Still working on Derek -- DO NOT CONTACT HIM FOR NOW, OK?????? XOXO"

You have a new text message from: LINDZI, 3:12 AM PST

"Go ahead with the next group date. SIMONE & YESENIA????!? AMIRITE??!!!?! XOXO"

You have a new text message from: LINDZI, 3:47 AM PST

"Will be out of town for a bit -- update later. HOLD OFF ON DEREK -- plan in the works. XOXO"

You have a new text message from: LINDZI, 7:21 AM PST

"WHO IS THIS? WHERE IS MY WIFE? WHO IS DEREK?"

_________________

HIYA from CALI!!!!!!!

I totes got on the road in the WEE HOURS of the morning and forgot my PHONE that I left charging in the kitchen!!!! I haven't had a chance to sit down at a computer since starting out this AM and I know that you must be going crazy!!!!

(Called the Hubs on the Burner Cell Phone that I picked up in a Walmart in Vegas on the way... He YELLED at me for leaving NO WORD and mentioned that he'd texted you and OOOOPS, my bad!)

Sorry about the CLOAK of MYSTERY... I started reading through your DATE DISPATCHES with a growing sense of DOOM as you updated me yesterday. I kept having the words of my Uncle Tim who's a General in the Army ringing in my ears... "No plan survives first contact with the enemy." Not that our matches are our ENEMIES, exactly... haha, although I think Derek #14 might BEG to DIFFER!!!!

I'm writing from a shabby little lodge cabin in the DEPTHS of the Sierra Nevada mountains, three doors down from Violet and Jay!!!

So where to begin...

I was reading your ongoing dispatches overnight -- I'm three hours behind you, so your last update came in at 1:30 AM. I sat there, staring at the screen, thinking about it, and then decided that I couldn't make any decisions right then and went to bed. But then all I did was toss and turn to the point that I was disturbing the Hubster, so I finally got up and started plotting...

I was thinking about it and realized that Uncle Tim was right and ALL THE PLANNING IN THE WORLD wasn't going to ENSURE that our dates turn out RIGHT... and the ONLY WAY FOR ME TO BE SURE was to be there, while my dates this weekend were happening!!!!

So I hopped on the phone, quickly, first in damage-control mode over what you'd mentioned about Derek and Tiffany's date.

I couldn't reach Derek right away but left him an UBER-SWEET message, "Derek, hon, this is Lindzi -- I heard that your date didn't go so great and I was hoping that maybe we could touch base? Give me a call OK, sweetie? Can't wait to hear from you! Don't worry, I'll make sure it's squared away for you!"

Then I got in touch with Tiffany, who'd already talked to you. (WAS SHE DRINKING AGAIN???!? ALREADY???!!!?! REALLY??????) I backed up your suggestion that she NOT call Derek (SOOOOOOOO glad that we gave them all "dummy numbers" that forward to the actual cell phones so that we can turn them on and off -- EXCELLENT THINKING, ELISE!!!), then set his dummy number to BLOCK ALL OF HER CALLS AS IF SHE DOESN'T EXIST, and suggested that she add her apology into her MANDATED date reflection. And no worries, I'll pour over it with a fine-toothed comb and make EXTRA-SPECIAL-MEGA-SUPER SURE that it comes off right in its final published version! Poor girl has issues with the words...