#life

----finis----

Lindzi, I have news. Not the good kind, as my cryptic email title response to you might gently suggest. I got your email, which kind of semi percolated through the buzz of the email before that...I have spent all night and morning on the phone myself in regards to that said prior email to yours--in a numb stupor, trying not to cry during the automated responses, not able to believe what I have been doing all last night and this morning, from 1am on.

I have terminated myself from #life.

Those words stare back bleakly into my bleary, bloodshot eyes from the screen, black and white proof of the epic WWE tournament of wills that occurred all throughout the night, whose rank aftermath is visible all across the vitiated arena of the apartment.

The trail of pistachio shells strewn in a shocked jumble from where my nerveless hand dropped the bag when my phone dinged, signaling the email--I had been curled up on the couch with my remote in preparation for a to watch the new Criminal Minds premier--the four cups of cold microwaved coffee my eyes are now finally registering in their bizarre locations (my shellshocked consciousness was just not able to comprehend and retain lesser information like where I would have left my cup of brew so I kept making new ones throughout the night--but that still begs the question why under the sink next to the garbage bags???!!) The empty roll of paper towels, ragged chunks of crumpled paper littering the floor in devastating testament to my TOTAL EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN (I was SO BEYOND MERE TISSUES, not even funny)

The gaping pizza box....tipped cartons of forgotten and unknown chinese delivery dripping strange sauces into the carpet (I gave up trying to pronounce or figure out what the food was eventually, raggedly calling and firing out random menu numbers to the confused restaurant employee by the end of the night)

Yadayadayada. You get the picture. I limp through the tired wreckage, grey and tasteless in the light of day, drained of all emotion as I tap the counter and watch another cup of coffee spin sadly in the yellow glare of the microwave, preparing to make yet more phone calls.

But first, you.

It has been my UTMOST PRIVILEGE AND HONOR to have served alongside of you in this GREAT AND AMAZING adventure called #life. I have truly felt and tried, from time to time, to express, that you and I had SOME KIND OF ALMOST HISTORIC, GUINNESS RECORD BREAKING unstoppable career path/destiny unfurling ahead of us....as you know it has been my LIFELONG DREAM and DEEPEST FANTASY to participate in the field of REALITY DATING. Working with you, Lindzi--

ALL MY CRAZIEST AND WILDEST AMIBITIONS HAVE BEEN REALIZED IN SPADES.

Just had to have an emotional moment there--have moved on to paper napkins since the paper towels are gone--my sinuses have to be in some kind of unprecedented vacuum stage at this point--

LINDZI, I CANNOT EXPRESS THE DEPTH OF GRATITUDE AND ADMIRATION for your talent and PURE GENIUS, how PROUD I AM to have linked names with yours in the service of #life and how UTTERLY AND COMPLETELY CERTAIN of your continued METEORIC RISE TO TRIUMPH in this great company. You HAVE A BLINDINGLY AWESOME FUTURE with #life, I AM CLAIRVOYANTLY POSITIVE.