#life

back to the apartment

GAAAAAGH!!!!!

Just have to say....sitting here at my desk in this SLEW OF CHAOS that magically developed over the weekend I was away....plus OF COURSE Ryan's SPEWED SUITCASE LAUNDRY all over the living room floor (what happens when you ask a guy nicely to put away his stuff--once the magnitude of the task becomes apparent something "urgently important" develops at work that calls him away from it all.)

So needless to say we got home to an overstuffed mailbox, 300+ emails and the lizard croaking and trying to climb the walls of his tank...nightmare.

Almost not even worth it to go on vacation. All those chakhras I worked so hard to uncork (unplug? plunge? not sure of the terminology here) while on YOGADATE immediately bottled themselves up and shot into the stratosphere again with all the STRESS.

So I've put out the memo for our matches to start up with the pet compatibility page....you would think such an easy, no brainer concept, right? Send in cute picture featuring animal and self--BAM.

Not so fast.

Greeting my unprepared eyes this morning a photo sent from Monika--herself and a man who I can only assume to be "Paulie" each with one combat boot atop the corpse of their fallen rhino, elephant guns pointed triumphantly at the sky in some sort of celebratory pose.

THAT WAS NOT YOUR PET, MONIKA. AT LEAST I HOPE NOT.

Not much better the shot from Igor doing a total disgusting MANSPREAD between what appears to be a muzzled wolf (?) and a BEAR CUB. Simone somehow made it into that photo as well, albeit way off to the side staring apprehensively at the wolf.

AND WHY ARE YOUR PUGS IN THE HOT TUB WITH YOU, LILA AND TED?????!!!! I have to think that kind of setup is for good reason illegal in most states.

Let's see....Ethan has an ant farm. Great to know. STILL NOT CUTE.

Paige sent a picture of herself SOLO dressed up in some vampy CAT COSTUME for one of her swing competitions. (So you are your own pet--is that the message?) Yesenia also seemed to subscribe to the self-as-pet school of thought and sent in a selfie of herself wearing pink bunny ears in one of her multitude of skimpy club minis.

Becky sent in a photo of herself and a very lethargic cow being awarded a purple ribbon (I guess they placed in the state fair a couple of years ago--all things considered, one of our better contributions)

Tariq sent in something I am guessing is supposed to be "artwork" featuring himself (nude) with a leaping dolphin in the background. Toby sent in a GRUESOME YOUTUBE clip detailing his tragic accident with the pike and his toe (????!!?? None of us needed to see that.)

Then there is Ben (at least, I am assuming that's him)--he appears to have had a brief stint in the WWE and in this photo he has long, wild hair to go with his beard, his face has tribal stripes painted on it and there appears to be a bat in his mouth. AGAIN, UNSAVORY TO SAY THE LEAST.