#life

The Zelda connection

Hiya, Elise!!!!

WOW, who saw that coming?????!?!!!? I mean, MULTIPLE REVEALS there... Derek-the-stalker is actually Derek-the-cop (which totes makes sense, now that I think about it, although he could have been a little more SUBTLE early on there). And IGOR -- so he was... wait, I'm confused. Was Zelda laundering money for him, or was she acquiring money for him that he was going to launder? It's sorta confusing!!! Glad he's not a bad guy (anymore), though. Simone has been VERY GOOD for that man... CONGRATS on (sorta accidentally) setting that up, Elise!!!

And I never reacted to the ALEXANDER thing!!!! OMGosh, that's TOTES AMAZING and maybe we'll actually be able to MATCH KATE!!!! Sounds like she met her match (willpower-wise) in him! And they'll be AWESOME competitors for my FINALE RACEDATE!!!!!

Good call on the rose exchange, live, afterwards. I think both of us are pretty clear on who our set matches are, and the others should be fun to watch. Should we make it more like the Bachelor franchise, where you have to accept each one???? That way if Ben, say, offers his to Mario, we could get a HORRIFIED REFUSAL. Haha. Or something like that. Anyhoo, it could be interesting.

OK, so: next order of business. It took me a while to get ahold of Ted after studiodate, but I finally reached him and was able to explain (some) of the context around the numbers. I thought that for his sanity's sake I would just leave the actual names out of it (thought that even though he broke up with her, it might be PAINFUL to hear Lila's name again -- I know I always HATED hearing about my EXES after we'd broken up, even though I usually wasn't the DUMPEE!!!).

So I told him that "Elise got some of these numbers from an encrypted file that she found about Zelda. We were hoping they might mean something to you."

He kinda pushed, telling me that "encrypted characters are all but worthless unless you have a key to decrypt them..." and a bunch of other mumbo-jumbo that might as well have been Chinese, for all the sense it made, then paused, and took a look. "But wait, these are PLAINTEXT STRINGS OF NUMBERS. Where exactly WERE THESE in the file? Were they attached to the title or the contents?"

I told him I didn't know, and would he mind at least checking them out, relative to Zelda. His guess was as good as mine unless he wanted to call you and get more DEETS. Haha. He's like, TOTES AFRAID of you at this point in time and freezes up whenever I mention your name. It's kinda funny.

So anyhoo, that's where things stand with Ted and the numbers. SO SORRY I forgot about them in all the Violet Meltdown excitement. (Did you see that she got listed in a Buzzfeed countdown of the most memorable Reality Star Meltdowns of all time???) Heehee -- also heard from her OVERBEARING MOTHER, and it seems that Violet has been TAKEN BACK TO THE PARENTAL HOME and is now on "lockdown" until her next MANDATORY DATE -- but Mama Violet told me that if there is the FAINTEST WHIFF of POT SMOKE, she doesn't care WHAT Violet signed, she's just GETTING HER TO SAFETY. It appears that Violet is now GROUNDED and not allowed to make any TV appearances (until her hair starts to grow in, at least, her mother huffed to me).

I heard from our happy couple, D&Z, that they are making the interview circuit and they have a BOOK going to be written (sorta surprised since neither of them struck me as the LITERARY TYPE, but Dixie quickly assured me they were using a ghostwriter for their memoir), and EVEN BETTER, they've been approached for a Reality Show of their own, called "The "Dizzy Life: At home with D&Z", sort of a "Keeping up with the Kardashians" meets "Duck Dynasty" meets "Married at First Sight" and making the most of their WILDLY DIFFERENT BACKGROUNDS. So they're doing well, too. Apparently ShyAnn got a PERSONAL INVITATION to Noah's latest concert and has become the MOST POPULAR GIRL IN SCHOOL as a consequence (I gather that there were a few friend-invites sent along with it). Personally, I'm looking forward to the THANKSGIVING EPISODE that Dixie described, where they're going to bring in Zack's two kids and their baby-mommas, so that they have the WHOLE family together. Should be fun!!!!