#life

Igor -- No, I can't

Elise --

WHAT THE WHAT????!?!?!!!!?? Oh my heck, CHEESE AND RICE!!! HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO MATCH THIRTEEN GUYS with ELEVEN GIRLS????!?!???!!!

Seriously, I am WAY ANNOYED RIGHT NOW with #life -- Not that Heather was the best candidate ever, but we have been OPERATING UNDER SOME SERIOUS GIRL CONSTRAINTS ALREADY, what with "Zelda" who can't be planned for (and might not even be ONE PERSON, let alone FEMALE), and the MENNONITE INSEPARABILITY CLAUSE, and the fact that Tiffany is BASICALLY A WALKING TRAIN WRECK.

I am TRYING here but I think you should have another EMPHATIC TALK with the powers that be and get us TWO MORE GIRLS (who are NOT PSYCHOLOGICALLY DAMAGED or JOINED AT THE HIP or DEALING WITH SUBSTANCE ABUSE PROBLEMS or FICTIONAL CHARACTERS) or else we are going to have SERIOUS ISSUES.

I. CAN'T. EVEN.  

______________

OK, just took the evening off to do a SERIOUS WORKOUT on the ROWING MACHINE that KICKED MY TRASH. Did I ever need that!!!!! I can THINK AGAIN, although I might have set back my healing process just a little, judging from the dull ache emanating from right foot right now. WHATEVS. I needed it.

Still VERY VERY PEEVED at #life for replacing Heather with a man, but will not deal on that. I leave "IGOR" to YOUR good graces, Elise. How do you even try to match a FOREIGN BILLIONAIRE? HOW OLD IS HE???? (On second thought, I'm betting Yesenia might not object to the idea of having a SUGAR DADDY. Not that it would be in her best interests, BUT....)

...

Had to take off another two hours bc I was getting WAY STEAMED again. It's probably a good thing for the Hubster that he wasn't here -- I would have TAKEN IT ALL OUT on him, which would have been kinda mean of me.

As it was, Derek #14 had the bad luck to reach me right after I read your update and responded above.

I was changing into my workout clothes when I noticed that the BURNER PHONE I bought while I was on the road was ringing. I'd plugged it in to charge, thinking that it might not be a bad idea to have a separate number to contact me, just in case, and hadn't given it another thought.

So I answered it.

"Oh Lindzi!" said Derek #14, "So glad I got you this time!"

I was not IN THE MOOD for this and snapped, "What do you want, Derek?"

Momentarily daunted, he paused, then said, "Have you heard from Elise?" he didn't wait for a response, but continued, "I can explain! I didn't mean to hurt Heather's feelings, Lindzi -- I was just trying to be honest, like we were supposed to..."

My stony silence must have sunk in, because his excuses tapered off.

"You should have sent it to one of us first," I said, finally.

BT-dubs, Elise, how was he able to publish his reflection to public view??? What is going on? Have you checked the locks on the rest of the site, too? I am concerned!!!!

"Fine, I will," he said defensively, "Whatever, I'll be more careful next time."

"That is, IF THERE IS a next time," I told him. "You've had the chance to go on TWO one-on-one dates and BOTH of them have been a DISASTER for us! I don't even know if we can trust you to be around any more of these girls!!!"

He must have started to catch on to HOW VERY DISPLEASED I was, bc he started to backpedal. "Oh, Lindzi, I didn't mean --"

"WHAT DID YOU MEAN???" I asked. "AND while we're on the topic, WHY ARE YOU CALLING ME at this time of night ON THIS PHONE???"