#life

SOS

Hi there. From a different spot from my normal! I have taken up residence at a coffee shop down on the corner from the apartment that has pretty decent wifi and some okay brew...so maybe stalling out here a little. Seems that in Ryan's and Charlie's latest batch of beer a slight miscalculation in regards to the proportion of yeast to hops occurred with the result there was a small explosion in the apartment during the night I spent in the hotel for rehabdate...Ryan managed to mop most of this up but there is a pretty strong lingering odor pervading the home space right now. I woke up this morning with the intention of throwing on the pot of morning coffee, when the STANK HIT YOURS TRULY LIKE A WALL (the kitchen was the scene of the incident) and sort of stumbled blind out of the apartment, in my disorientation even leaving behind my phone (just reflexively checked in my pocket for that staple reassuring shape and sure enough, came up empty.) The barrista behind the counter gave me a pretty funky look when I made my order this morning so I gave the old sweatshirt a surreptitious sniff--sure enough, faint but unmistakable brewery overtones...so I am huddling in the corner now hoping that the rest of the coffee shop population doesn't consider me some sort of hobo in recovery from a wild night.

Anyway.

So....Vegas. Wow. I am still processing about Zack and Dixie...I think that their elopement does actually violate some of their #life contract and am trying to sort through some of the fine print regarding that. Have been noticing, however, that there is an explosion of interest on the site regarding their brief but scorching romance--your camera team was certainly enthusiastic in their documentation. Did you notice that they somehow managed to include a VERY STAGED LOOKING proposal from Zackary, down on one knee with a bouquet of flowers, from several hours before their ceremony???? Somehow I don't think they were nearly as blindsided to the situation as the rest of us. Might want to have a word with your camera team there.

So where was I? Oh. Yes. Legalities of the elopement. I am gathering from the fine print that engaging in matrimony prior to the end of the #life season DOES DISQUALIFY matches from participating in further dating activity....their loss, I guess.

So, on that front....I hope that you will not be mad with me: I have just checked in with that funky management team of the bizarre voiceovers at #life and am awaiting approval on this--but I have preemptively set us up with another match to compensate for the absence of D&Z (seems to be the title they are flying under these days). Okay, so I know this tips us even further in the male/female ratio imbalance, but the new match is another guy....I can see you rolling your eyes and crossing your arms right now, but hear me out....he's not a BRAND NEW guy per se, and actually has a PRELIMINARY INTEREST in one of our matches (hopefully the public still remembers this--I know collective memory on reality dating is brutally short--leave the picture for five minutes and you are a forgotten relic by the sidelines) a very STRONG penchant, actually--he signed over his full chunk of change and multiple paged personal profile and questionnaire in record time, with no questions asked.

Who is this person? I can hear you, resigning yourself. So brace here--

ALEXANDER FROM LOTUSFEATHER/YOGADATE.

Ring any bells??? If not, refresher HE WAS THE HOT INSTRUCTOR, WHO ENDED UP GOING FOR KATE. And if his email indications are anything to go by, that is the direction his attention is still bent toward. Apparently, since YOGADATE, it turns out he and Linda (the resort director) have had "professional and artistic differences" which are causing them to part ways so he is no longer a part of the LotusFeather franchise (sad to see that happen--I personally found the experience there very spiritually uplifting so I hope that whatever new leadership Linda takes on up there continues in that tradition.)

But there you have it--oops. Just got email confirmation that Alexander is "part of the #life match team" so guess he's with us, for better or worse!