Savannah's Diary

Bad, Worse, Worst

February 28, Friday, 8:30pm

Dear Diary,

I remember in 2nd grade that our teacher used to teach us in English.

The positive, comparative, and superlative.

Like, good, better, and best.

That was probably my most favorite lesson back then, not just because it's all I remember but because I wished that sometime in my life, I'd experience that. 

A good memory,

a better recollection,

and the best time of my life.

But in all my years, I never thought that I'd experience the negative parts first.

The bad, the worse, and the worst.

I always had a hunch. A bad feeling ever since his so-called cousin, River Davis came here in Florida. 

I mean, Austin barely talks about how his family are gone which is why I knew there was something wrong when he started to drift away from us. From me.

But, I never payed any attention to it. Why am I so numb? So unaware of this?

I only payed attention to my heart and what it wants me to see.

Why is this happening? 

I thought I read it all right. Those sparkly blue eyes, that cute, innocent smile.

But suddenly, it's like we don't know each other anymore. Not just me but, even Ava is being avoided by Austin.

What's worse? It has been 2 weeks since that dance. 2 weeks.

 I barely see him on a normal school day even though he only lives across the street.

Whenever I get the opportunity to see him, we just walk past each other like the best friend I had all these years never existed or at least, the best friend that I knew and grew up with.

The best friend that I thought has feelings for me too. 

The friend that I thought would just tell me the truth and not just a bunch of crazy lies.

That friendship that was apparently built with memories which I thought was true.

Is he really my best friend whom I grew up with?

But I can see that he's hurt by what's happening. I am too. It hurts so much.

Is it my fault for having these mixed-up feelings? :(

- - - - -

"Honey, it's not your fault for having those feelings. I thought that he felt the same too. That lying, manipulative boy. Am I being harsh for talking about him that way?" Ava says as we walk home.

"Well, yes and-"

"But our entire friendship was based on that childhood memory. Gurl! He could've just told us about it years ago but he kept it all to himself and now that it's come out, he sounds like a jerk. A selfish, lying jerk." Ava breaths a long breathe and holds my hand.

"Everything would be okay if he told us sooner than now, right?" 

No.

We both know that that's not the truth. It would be painful, yes, but not as much pain as we are feeling right now.