Savannah's Diary

18th

"Welcome, everyone to the 18th birthday of Ms. Savannah Andersen!"

"I am so excited to watch this night unfold in front of our very eyes."

"And now, please give a warm welcome to our beautiful debutante, Savannah!"

"Oh, give her a hand everybody! That is the most beautiful green gown I've ever seen in my life!"

- - - - -

"I mean, we all had our best moments during our lives. It may be our graduation, our first day in college, or in Savannah's case, her 18th birthday. I hope you remember this moment and smile thinking that you are one special girl. I wish you all the best in the world. I love you." I join the guests as they clapped their hands for my cousin, Jasmine as she gave her speech for me.

"That is one sweet message from Jasmine. And now, for her 18th candle, her best friend Avery Marvin is here to render us a special song." the hosts announced.

"Hey, Savi. Hope you like this." she smiles and positions her hands on her guitar.

It's so rare to find a friend like you

Somehow when you're around, the sky is always blue

The way we talk, the things you say

The way you make it all okay

And how you know all of my jokes

but you laugh anyway..

If I could wish for one thing,

I'd take the smile that you bring

Wherever you go in this world, I'll come along

Together we dream the same dream

Forever I'm here for you, you're here for me

Oh oh, two voices, one song

And anywhere you are, you know I'll be around

And when you call my name, I'll listen for the sound

If I could wish for one thing,

I'd take the smile that you bring

Wherever you go in this world, I'll come along

Together we dream the same dream

Forever I'm here for you, you're here for me

Oh oh, two voices, one song

Oh oh, two voices, one song

I tear up as Ava comes to me and hugs me.

"I'll always be there for you, Savi. Love you, girl." 

- - - - -

"Before we proceed, please give a round of applause for the debutante's mother who has a few words for Savannah."

Mom comes up the stage and stands beside the chair I was sitting on. Before even saying something, she broke down crying which caused the guests and me to laugh a little.

"I, Everyone, am a Psychologist so this should be easy for me since I'm talking about feelings but somehow, I forgot I was going to say." and everyone laughs again.

"First off, as soon as I saw Savannah today in her dark green dress that she'd been wanting to wear, I don't know. I just lost it."

"My one and only baby girl is now a grown woman. How time flies so fast, as I always say to her. And, Savannah, let me tell you how proud I am on what you've become. So many things have changed over the years and yet, here you are, still the kind and beautiful girl I've loved ever since I saw you for the first time."

"If you ever need me, I'm always right here by your side. Especially now that Dad is no longer with us." she pauses for a minute to wipe her tears.

 I can't help but to cry as well.

"But let me tell you, even though your dad wasn't always with us, I can tell that he is so proud of you too, honey. Life is not as perfect as we see it. There will always be problems. But every single one of us overcomes these trials." she looks at me straight in the eyes.

"Whenever you feel down, remember to just look at the good side of things, dear. It always gets better. I love you with all my heart, Savannah I hope you enjoy this night and remember it all." she says then hugs me.

- - - - - 

"Alright, everyone! It's time for one of the highlights of the event! It's time for the 18 roses!"

My heart is beating faster and faster, the excitement filling my body.

"First on the list, none other than Savannah's cousin, Ethan!" 

Ethan comes over and gives me the rose.

We both smiled at each other and danced to the soft beat of the song.

A few more danced with me and I was feeling more eager than before.

I should be enjoying the company of whoever I was dancing with at the moment but, my eyes can't help but to wander on the line of boys listed to be one of my 18 roses. 

I waited and danced even more.

As the 14th rose, my classmate, held my hand and danced with me, my eyes darted to Ava standing near the hosts, with a small smile on her face.

I know that smile.

I look at the remaining boys whom I would dance with and I can't explain what I was feeling at the moment.

Was is excitement? Was it because I was thrilled? Or was it disappointment?

It felt like my heart got ripped out of my chest.

I looked at Ava once again and she was still wearing the small smile.

As I prepare for the last dance, my hands were shaking in nervousness and tears were already visible on my eyes.

When he grabbed my hand and gave me the rose, I acted like I was okay, when in reality, my emotions were all messed up.

As we dance to the remaining lyrics of the song, my eyes wander to Ava and only now do I realize that she was holding a rose as well and my mom is now standing beside her, both of them giving me a sad smile.

My last dance was my 17th rose. One of my classmates.

Because,

My 18th rose never came.

The one boy who I thought I'd see tonight and hope to dance with never came.

Austin was nowhere to be found.