My Memory Log

LITERALLY A NERVOUS WRECK RIGHT NOW *cries*

Okay this is not a favorite memory at all. Like, probably one of my least at the moment tbh. 

So today were the auditions for the play (a series of four one acts) and I... ugh. 

My friends weaseled me into auditioning with them and when I got there they never. showed. up. 

*pissed*

Okay so I was kind of joking about it and I didn't really want to but when I got there I realized "man... I kind of want to so bad that I want to leave ugh" because I really didn't want to audition and find out how terrible I am. 

But I stayed.

I practiced in front of a wall, Kania, Kania and Lizzie and Alicia, Alex, and again in front of a wall.

I was really positive and ready and somehow Alex got them to have me audition next (after me practicing in front of him).

So I went into the hallway (where I practiced in front of a for the second time, mentioned above) and watched the kid before me be all animated and passionate and the directors smiling and holy crap *starts getting nervous again and needs to calm down to finish my audition story*

*deep breath*

and then after I went in gave Dr. N my paper and she flipped through it while she said, "Whenever you're ready, honey."

And then they were all looking at me and I got scared and ran out...

Just kidding! Lol I did kind of get scared when they looked at me but I took Alex's advice and took a deep breath, made my feet shoulder length apart, and stared at the painted dream catcher behind them and not at them. 

Here's a video of the monologue I did---

Just she's a whole hell of a lot better than I am. 

So after I finished they were looking at me so I stuttered, "Can I- Can I leave?"

So Dr. N then told me that cast list will be posted Friday and that practices start next week and then I could leave.

As I walked out I heard one of the directors start to say, "She's-"

BUT THEN I WALKED OUT SINCE OTHER PEOPLE HAD TO GO AND I'M A NERVOUS WRECK BECAUSE I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HE SAID. 

"she's perfect"

"She's ugly AF" <- probs that one

"she's amazing"

"she's meh. Let's just put her in an ensemble"

"She's got spunk! I like her" (lol THG reference)

--

WHAT WERE THEY SAYING ABOUT MEEEEEE

I WANT TO KNOW AND I'M A NERVOUS WRECK THINKING ABOUT IT AND I WANT TO KNOW IF I'M ENSEMBLE OR IF I GOT A PART AND I KIND OF WANT TO BE ENSEMBLE BUT I WANT A PART AT THE SAME TIME SINCE IN MIDDLE SCHOOL I JUST PUT MY NAME ON THE EXTRA LIST AND CALLED IT A DAY SINCE I WAS AFRAID TO AUDITION AND I WANT TO KNOW IF I SHOULD HAVE AUDITIONED INSTEAD OF BEING A WIMP UGHHHHH

AND I HAVE TO WAIT FOR THREE OR FOUR DAYS FOR THE CAST LIST TO BE POSTED AND I'M CRYING I'M LITERALLY CRYING RIGHT NOW

DR. N IF FOR SOME MAGICAL REASON YOU HAVE A WATTPAD AND YOU'RE STALKING A __ YEAR OLD TEENAGE GIRL ON HERE AS SHE WRITES HER MOST PRECIOUS MEMORIES PLEASE JUST COMMENT HOW I DID

(lol but seriously I want to know!).