My Memory Log

Vegans

*dying on inside just trying to write it*

Me: *sees screen on TV where we have Netflix open* *jokingly* Hey, Scarlet, we should watch Jane the Virgin

Scarlet: No. She's probably not even a virgin anymore by the end of the series

Lisa: What's a virgin? 

*me and Scarlet share look*

Scarlet: A word you just don't say at school

Me: It's not that it's bad... It's just you don't say it.

Lisa: Oh.. Well, I know what vegans are. 

*later*

Me: *tells mom, not knowing Lisa is walking into the room*

Lisa: *stares while Mom addresses her* 

Mom: Well, you know what sex is, right?

Lisa: *silent while raising her arms and shrugging*

me: *walks out of the room and gives privacy*

*two seconds later*

Me: *tells Dad and Scarlet Lisa's having the talk with Mom*

all of us [including my dad]: *laugh about it and make jokes*

Me and Scarlet: *walk into hallway where Lisa walks out of Mom's and Dad's room*

Me: What did she tell you about virgins?

Lisa: Nothing. She was going to but then...

Scarlet: You didn't let her tell you about it because you didn't want to know?

Lisa: *nods* But it's okay. I told her I already know what vegans are.

*me and Scarlet walk back over to my dad and fill him in*

Dad: *jokingly* What are vegans?

Me and Scarlet: *shout for Lisa to come into room*

Lisa: NO

Me: IT'S FOR DAD

Lisa: NO

Scarlet: LISA, WHAT ARE VEGANS

Lisa: THEY'RE PEOPLE WHO REFUSE TO EAT ANYTHING THAT COMES FROM AN ANIMAL AND MOM SAYS WE DON'T TRUST VEGANS

Me and Scarlet: *dying laughing*

Dad: It's like that saying... Never trust a woman.

Me: What?

Dad: You can't trust someone who bleeds five days straight and doesn't die. 

*all of us laugh*

*silence*

Scarlet: I believe the saying is one week, though...