A Haunting Past: an Avengers/x-men fanfiction

Battle Wounds

I finished packing after about twenty minutes but I had to sit down to catch my breath.  My lungs felt like they were on fire as I laid on my bed.  THe doctors said it could be months before my lungs fully healed.  I don't want to feel like this for months.  I just want to be better already.  Someone knocks on my door and I sit up slowly.

"Come in." I say as I slip my sneakers back on.  Sam comes into the room and he leans against the wall.

"You ready to go?" He asks as I slip on my jacket and I grab my suitcase.

"Of course." I say with a smile as we leave the room.  I pull the door closed before I follow him to his car.  Captain tells me goodbye and to call him when we get there.  I hug him tightly even though it hurts to before I slip into the passenger seat of Sam's car.

"Let's hit the road." I say happily as we get onto the road.

"So how are you feeling?" Sam asks as we drive along the road.  "And you don't have to lie to me, Allison." He assures me as I think of what to say.

"I don't know how I'm feeling.  My body still aches and my lungs are still giving me trouble.  But mentally, I guess it's worse.  I can't sleep at night because I'm scared that Victor will be in my dreams.  I don't want to keep reliving that pain but everytime I close my eyes it's there."  I say as I rub my arms gently.  The jacket I'm wearing is covering the deep cuts along my arms but I can't keep my jacket on forever.

"Have you told anyone?" I shake my head as I lean against the window.  "Captain said you were having nightmares again and the doctors wanted to keep you in the hospital until they knew you were stable but..."

"I'll never be stable."  I tell him.  "There will always be something that sets me off.  I don't know how people learn to handle it."  I feel scared and vulnerable.

"Talking about will help you Allison." Sam assures me.  "You can't keep running from your past.  It's time you learn to heal the hurt and not let your past define you."  I don't say anything.  "What is the hardest memory to think about?" He asks.

"The experiments." I reply as we drive in silence.

"What parts?"

"The pain that they put me through.  The sounds of the drills as they drilled into my bones to get my marrow.  The sharp pain as a scalpel is pulled across my skin."  I trail off as tears start to fall down my cheeks.  "The feeling of being completely helpless.  That no matter how many times I cried out for help, no one cared to stop them."

"There's people who would help you now. YOu're not alone anymore." Sam puts a hand on my shoulder as I fully break down.  My lungs scream for more oxygen as  start to hyperventilate.  Sam pulls over onto the side of the road and tries to calm me down.  "Breathe, you're ok." He tries to calm me down with words but the pain won't go away.

It takes us thirty minutes before I get my breathing under control.  Sam forces me to lay down in back so I can sleep some.  I close my eyes hoping that he would wake me up before the nightmares took over.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Sam's POV

Allison's panic attack was terrifying to watch.  She tried to force oxygen into her damaged lungs but it just freaked her out more.  I managed to calm her down and I was tempted to take her back to the compound.  I don't know what I'm going to do with her, but I know that I'm probably the only one who will be able to help her.

As Allison slept in the back seat, I listened to her breathing.  She stayed asleep for about two hours before I heard her start to cry in her sleep.  I touch her leg gently to wake her up.  She sits up quickly and she looks around frightened.

"Are you sure you're ready for this?" I ask her as she crawls into the passenger seat.

"I'll never be ready." She mumbles as she pulls her jacket closer around her body.

"Aren't you hot?" It was pretty hot in the car and she has a thick jacket on.  She shakes her head but I don't let her leave it at that.  After a few minutes she pulls off the jacket and I see why she wanted to keep it on.  There's deep cuts along her arms and I guarantee they are on the rest of her body.

"See, this is why I wanted to keep my jacket on." Allison says as she notices me looking at them.

"You shouldn't be ashamed.  They're your battle wounds."  She shakes her head as she leans against the window.