Saving Scout O'Brian

12- Can I do This?

•Fallin For You By Colbie Calliat•

Twelve

"She'll be okay, she's strong, she'll pull through." I swear if anyone says those words to me again I am going to come unglued on someone. And trust me, that isn't anything you want to see.

I leaned forward in the chair and buried my face in my hands while furiously trying to blink back tears. Charlotte was taken for surgery a little while ago and the image of her tiny little form hooked up to so many machines and tubes and wires is still ingrained in my brain. It's a sight I know will haunt me for a long time.

My hands curl in my hair and I nearly rip the dark strands from my scalp as I try to hold myself together. A soft hand rests on my back and I immediately flinch away.

"Hey, you alright?" Her already heavy accent is thick with worry.

The tears and pain all wrapped up in me chokes off my air and I can't take it anymore. The chair slams against the wall as I shoot up in my seat and take off. Evelyn calls after me but I can't look at her right now. I'm a mess and she shouldn't have to deal with me.

The air is cool and refreshing as I circulate it through my lungs. The dam breaks and all the pain and fear and hopelessness rushes through me. I can't hold back the wounded yell as I turn and punch the brick building.

"Fuck fuck fuck." I hiss out through gritted teeth as I cradle my probably broken and bleeding hand.

Tears stream down my face and I slide down the brick building, choking down the sobs. The memories start to return and this time I let them. One particular memory rises and I squeeze my eyes shut as it streams across my mind.

"You're pregnant? You stupid bitch." Pain explodes across my jaw as his fist connects with my face. Tears pour from my eyes immediately and my hands come up to cradle the injury.

"It's no-not my fault." I sob out, curling deeper into the corner and drawing my legs up to protect the precious life now growing in me.

His beady black eyes meet mine as he bends down to grab me. My screams fall on deaf ears he halls me up and slams me against the wall. My head bounces painfully against it sending another wave of pain through my brain.

"Not your fault?? I told you what I'd have to do to you if I caught you going through my things again. Tell me again how it's not your fault?" He snarls into my face.

I can only sob back at him. His hands tighten around my arms, and I'm sure I'll have a few bad bruises. "I'm s-sorry." I cry, trembling in his grip.

He drops me with a huff but before I can run off to my room he grabs my wrists in one hand and pins them above my head. My breathing is cut off as something cold and sharp is pressed against my jugular. Terror consumes all rational thought.

He leans over me and I can feel the knife run from my neck to my stomach. "Whatever. Now I just have to fix your stupid mistake."

"Scout?" Her voice snaps me out of the memory but my body still remembers. I'm trembling so hard I fear that I won't stop. The grey eyes that look down at me are soft and filled with sadness as she takes in the broken person before her.