Saving Scout O'Brian

22- Already Gone

•Already Gone By Kelly Clarkson•

Twenty Two

Evelyn knew she was gone even before she opened the door. Her fingers wobbled on the knob for a moment before she took a deep breath and pushed it open. Though everything looked the same, everything screamed her. The comforter they shared, or well stole from each other throughout the night and woke up giggling.

Koba barked excitedly, wagging her little tail. Evelyn scooped down and picked up the puppy, allowing her face to form a small smile as the little animal looked up at her adorably. But then she put her down again. "I'll take you out in a minute." She promised the confused-looking pup.

The counter where they'd shared many a make-out session while Charlotte and the puppy played in the other room. The bathtub where Elizabeth carried Scout as she had one of her episodes. The couches, where they lounged on lazy Saturday mornings.

Evelyn squeezed her eyes shut as she remembered the first time she'd taken a risk and invited her into her house. All her life she'd been sheltered, she'd been beat down. Evelyn had gone through the foster care system as well. She too had been abused mentally and physically.

She had been taking a risk when she told Loretta to place Scout with a boy in her training. Maybe it was selfish, maybe it was unfair. But the only way for her to truly heal is if she sees the things she can do to someone who's bigger than her. But she knew one thing for certain, she was a fool.

Who was she to place Scout in such a position? She wasn't her mother, she wasn't her guardian. She was in love with her, and as her partner, she should've been there for her instead of pushing her into something she wasn't ready for.

Evelyn's heart was tearing. She breathed deep and turned, catching the blue sky and sand and the warm breeze. She had pushed too far this time, and she'd lost her.

Raking a hand through her hair, the brunette let out a low sigh and made her way into the bedroom, picking up miscellaneous things as she did so. Evelyn was never the sort to mope around and cry whenever things went wrong. She put herself to work. Many people thought this was to avoid the pain, to bottle it up, but for her she was channeling that pain into something productive.

Her days and the pain she faced in the foster care system were never far in her mind. But whenever she was with scout, they canceled each other out. Both their pain was vicious and always trying to tear through them, but when they were together, that pain had no leverage.

As she picked her way through her house, half of her was empty. She was unaccustomed to this feeling. Evelyn had always known what she wanted. She knew the minute Scout stood up in her office with nostrils flared and eyes burning, she'd known what she wanted.

But for the first time ever, she'd have to put someone before herself. In the system, there was no room for friendships. Friends, if they so claimed to be, would either steal from you or expect something in return.

Evelyn had learned to put herself first. Not out of selfishness, but survival. If she hadn't, she wouldn't be here today. Yes, she was broken. She had scars both visible and not, but now that she has had a taste of real love, there is no way she is ever letting go of it.

•••

"Charlotte come on, we need to go." I prompted her. With an adorable sigh and a shoulder slump, my little girl made her way over.