Saving Scout O'Brian

17- Beneath The Waves

•Unsteady By X-Ambassadors•

Seventeen

This so fucked up.

My fists clench over and over as I fight back the waves of panic and fear that threaten to drown me. I know I'm down for now. Now they just won't send me away, to another crappy foster family, or split us up, now I know I'm going to prison. I'm too old to be placed in another home anyways, but Charlotte isn't. I will never ever truly regret what I did to save myself and her, but in this moment I can't help but wish I hadn't done what I did.

I wish I hadn't had to take a human life.

My breathing comes in rapid gasps and my whole body is wracked with tremors. I can't go, I can't leave Charlotte, I can't leave Casey, I can't leave....fuck!

"Scout!" Suddenly her warm hands are on my face, cradling my cheeks so gently, wiping away the tears that never seem to stop falling. Her sweet voice tells me to open my eyes, to breathe, to tell her what's going on.

"I can't." I choke on a sob.

"Can't what, love?"

"I can't tell you!" I bite the inside of my cheek as I sit there, wanting more than anything to curl up in her lap and let her hold me, let her comfort me, to believe her when she says it will all be okay.

But all I can manage is a sigh of acceptance. Charlotte will be allowed to stay with her. I know it. At least she'll be safe, at least she won't be put into another home.

"Just....take care of my daughter." I swing my eyes open and the stormy panicked ones looking back at me nearly have me sobbing. She shakes her head and her hands tighten on my face, pulling it closer. "No," she growls. Our noses rub together.

"No. Not now, not when I've only just fallen for you."

My heart drops to my knees. Joy threatens to overwhelm me but I can't let it. It will only make this a hundred percent harder. "You.....you love me?" I whisper, my lips brushing against hers as I speak.

Her eyes water with unshed tears and I want to look away because the sight of this strong, intimidating, striking woman losing it in front me is almost too much to bear. "Sometimes, inima mea, you are not the smartest crayon in the box."

I huff out a broken laugh and delay my reply by pressing my lips to hers. Our breaths mix together with the salt in our tears. You can taste the goodbye in the kiss, the love also. It takes everything in me to pull away from her, but I do.

"Promise me you won't let them take her. Adopt her as your own, but please don't let them take her. I won't let her face the hell that I did." Her eyes tighten at my words and even though I haven't told her about what I've gone through, I know she has a pretty good idea.

For a moment I think she's going to deny me but then she glances back the other love of my life and smiles softly. I know she adores her. Her gaze returns to mine after a moment and hardens with determination.

"As you wish, but answer me one question."

I swallow hard and nod. "What did you do?" My hands start to tremble again and I suck in a deep breath. She deserves to know, and I suppose this is the best opportunity to tell her incase she never wants to see me again.