Saving Scout O'Brian

23- Forgive Me

•With Love By Christina Grimmie•

Twenty Three

"Mommy? Are we going in?"

Charlotte's small voice wafted up to me from the front of the car. It has been seven minutes and forty-three seconds since we arrived at Evelyn's house, and I have spent a good majority of that seven minutes gnawing the hell out of my lip and maintaining a death-grip on the steering wheel.

I could see the lights on in the house, and every now and then a shadowed figure would walk by the curtains and my hands would clench upon the steering wheel. A wave of nervousness washed over me and I wiped a shaky hand across my brow. After another long moment of the same repetitive actions, I breathed a low sigh and glanced down at my ripped bloody shirt and stained jeans.

Shaking my head, I glanced back at Char, who watched me with her light eyes. Her expression was so full of childish hope that I couldn't possibly refuse her of anything.

My lips twitched into a watery smile. "Yes baby, we're going in."

I closed my eyes for a moment and let out another long breath before shutting off the car and getting out. The muscles of my legs twitched with every movement. My heartbeat fluttered in my chest, my blood roared through my veins, following the pounding of my footsteps as we neared Evelyn's house.

When I came to a stop in front of the door, my heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. My head pounded and my vision swam. My eyes roamed over my torn and bloody clothes. I knew she'd probably freak when she saw what I looked like. The cut at my stomach burned and throbbed. I pushed the pain away and raised my hand, the knocking of my skin on the wood sending a dull thud through my body.

Charlotte wedged herself into my side, making me wince as she brushed by the wound. We waited for a moment before the silhouette appeared once more in the window. The pounding in my head escalated, I counted the seconds.

When the door finally did open, it was in slow motion. The swoosh as it swung inward was painfully loud. A pair of bare feet appeared first, followed by muscled calves and perfectly shaped legs. My eyes devoured her form like it was the first time I was seeing her. She was dressed in those loose pants and that soft cotton tee that matched the swirling silver of her eyes.

Eyes that were focused right on me.

Our gazes clashed and suddenly I couldn't fight it anymore. Everything I'd buried away the past few weeks suddenly slammed into me as I read the shock and concern in her eyes. Everything was overtaking my body. My ears popped and rang, my vision darkened. I didn't know that I'd fallen forward until she was there, always catching me.

"Scout?"

The raspy tones of her voice were silk to my ears. I tried to reply back but my mouth wouldn't work. A sob tore through me and I buried my face in her neck. Her arms came hesitantly around me but then it didn't matter because she was crushing me to her chest and murmuring soothing words in her own language.

Pain.

That is all I felt in that moment.

Complete and utter pain. Pain for what I've put her through. Pain for what Charlotte has gone through. Pain for what I've gone through. Pain, pain, pain. It was impossible to feel anything else. Sure my body hurt physically as well, but that was nothing compared to the mental pain. Physical pain you could control, but mental pain threatened to control you.