When the line between love and lust becomes blurred...Only the hardest of hearts endure what is to come. You & Lauren fic
*Warning* drug use and explicit content
Lately, Lauren and Ethan have been hanging around a lot as we progress with the tour. The media no doubt, having fun with making up stories of dating rumours. I've kept my distant towards her because of the other night at the hotel. I guess that's my fault, her sudden confession threw me off. I regretted what I said to her but it's for the best. I'm not the right person for her. I knew that I felt something strong for Lauren but it's honestly something I don't want to feel. I just can't accept that. This was supposed to be fun. No strings attached, no one gets hurt. She knows about my shit with Isabella and the fact that most of the songs I perform are for Isabella. Except, the dull ache of missing Lauren has loomed inside me for days. Seeing her with Ethan...
We were at another concert venue and sound check had been scheduled for an acoustic event hat would take place outside for a brief performance for those that were able to attend the meet and greets only. I wrote a new song the other day which the band loved and made Ethan a little suspicious about the circumstances that I was writing for. No doubt Lauren had filled him in on what happened between us. The lyrics were a good cover up for the fact that it was not only for Isabella.
Lauren only Looked at me from afar as she was caught between a conversation of an animated Camila and Dinah discussing the funniest snap chat effects . As we shared a look she only showed me sad eyes. I only offered a kind smile and felt that ache in my chest again. Good thing we were outside this time because I pulled out a cigarette to calm my nerves which had suddenly appeared from preparing to play this song.
The turn out for meet and greets was substantial. Our fans were equally devoted as the harmonisers which were mixed in with the other fans. I was able to meet interesting people and those who told me that my songs helped them get through shit breakups. It made me feel accomplished because that's what I've wanted to do. To just help people. The fifth harmony was busy taking cute photos with excited fans. I must say that Lauren's outfit made me equally as nervous to perform for them. Out of all the beautiful girls, she stood out most even though I thought Normani looked equally as flawless which affects Jonah who practically drooled when he saw her. Sydney kept to herself and chatted with a few groups of girls who looked up to her a drummer of a successful band. "Ok guys well since you were all devoted to showing up for meet and greet we want to play a few songs for you that range from love to heartbreak to chilling and vibing." The crowd cheered emphatically and looked comfortable in the cosy setting we had made for the performance. I looked at the others promoting then to get ready clicking my fingers to the beat.
Never had much faith in love or miracles Ooh! Never wanna put my heart on the line Ooh! But swimming in your water is something spiritual Ooh! I'm born again every time you spend the night Ooh!
'Cause your sex takes me to paradise Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah
the crowd loved ny song and were bouncing to the beat, some becoming affected everytime i made eye contact with one of the girls in the crowd.
'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long Yeah, you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long
You bring me to my knees, you make me testify You can make a sinner change his ways Open up your gates 'cause I can't wait to see the light And right there is where I wanna stay
'Cause your sex takes me to paradise Yeah, your sex takes me to paradise And it shows, yeah, yeah, yeah
'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long Yeah, you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long
Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Can I just stay here? Spend the rest of my days here? Oh, oh, oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah Can't I just stay here? Spend the rest of my days here?
'Cause you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long Yeah, you make me feel like I've been locked out of heaven For too long, for too long
Lauren gave me a longing look leaving by herself to the 5H dressing room. Usually, this would be an invitation for something more naughty then the look implied, but I let her go on her way. It was when I saw Ethan walk by me that it all started to make sense now. I let him move out f my sight to really understand what was happening until my body began to move on its own. I was taking long strides towards the direction that I saw both Ethan and Lauren head. Anger welled up in my chest but my mind willed to find a way to stop myself from moving to somewhere I might regret. When j reached the dressing room I lingered outside expecting a completely different scene to the one I found.
"C'mon Lauren, tell me what's up? I want to help..."
"That's sweet E, but you can't"
E? What the fuck is happening?
"Look, Lauren, whatever it is I have a feeling that it might have something to do with my brother. I don't know if I'm right, though-"
"It is.." oh? of course it's me how stupid am I. The song I just sang was one of my poems too and also one of her favourites.
"Lauren..." I was able to peek in a little more and when I saw him leaning in to kiss her and their lips connecting and her eyes closing and warpping her arms around him. A sick feeling in the pit of my stomach became known and all I could do was walk away and accept the fact that maybe this is for the best.
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I was leaning against the wall a few metres down the hall when Lauren walked by. We shared a brief moment if eye contact as she stopped to look at me with an empty stare until I released a defeated sigh and chose to walk far from her first. My hands stayed clenched at my sides until I reached the tour bus parked outside the venue. At reaching it i released my frustrations on the exterior of the bus and ignored the jarring pain in my knuckles, choosing to walk in to spend a bit of my time with something I was able to buy at our last stop in which I no doubt knew would help me in ways that not even weed can..
