Hardest of Hearts (Lauren/you) ON HIATUS

Marks

Photo above are your tats ;p

I didn't know how I felt towards my brother. It was hard to hate him due to the fact that he was there for me when I lost myself. But to know that he had some sort of resentment towards me for having the girl he admitted was the first that he'd ever loved, my mind state was set in confusion. After much difficulty Jonah had finally been able to find the comfort of his own bed. The adrenaline that ran through him after getting into a fight with some random, still flowed through him as he wanted to leave the hotel room. I could only convince him to chill last night by handing him one of my specialty blunts, an offer he couldn't resist. I called Lauren to see if she was ok since I had been kicked out of the party and didn't get to see her from then on. I felt slight embarrassment at the fact that I had left so abruptly. Part of me didn't really feel like going back because of what Ethan had said. He made me out to be some heartless asshole who was enjoying life leaving him without the person he wanted most. I had already told Lauren that she was mine and she knew that, I wasn't about to let her go for the sake of someone else.

"Hey...sorry, I had to take Jonah and he wasn't gonna calm down anytime soon..."

"Yeah, it's ok, I get it babe, he needed to cool off, why didn't you come back though? You just left me there confused about what to do with Ethan," Fuck, I left him there with the girls, all fucked up. They probably didn't know what to do with him due to the fact that he can get pretty dam annoying when he's drunk.

"What did he do after I left?" I didn't want him doing anything stupid.

"He just kind of disappeared until I saw him hanging out with some guys in the corner, I just wanted to know if he was going to get home safe,"

"Yeah he's a big guy don't worry, he'll probably come back with Sydney," I remembered that Sydney was there, or at least I hoped so because she was getting pretty hot and heavy with Camila earlier on in the night.

There were a few silent moments before I heard Lauren speak again. I grew curious with her silence.

"Lauren? Everything alright?"

"huh...oh yeah I'm fine...Do you want me to come to your room? I need to talk to you about something actually?" Talk to me? I didn't know that there was anything that we should talk about.

"Uh sure, you know that I would never say no to you,"

"Okay, I'll be there soon." She hung up in a hurry and that's when the sickly feeling that something was wrong grew in the pit of my stomach.

I hastily made sure that my room was ordered and not too messy. I hadn't bothered to wear a shirt as it had become stained with Jonah's vomit. The guy was not too fond of patience.

Not even a minute passed by when the familiar knock of her delicate hands alerted me. I sauntered quickly towards the door not wanting her to wait for me another second. 

The opening of the door revealed Lauren's flawless figure. Her fave devoid of any makeup and body covered by what seemed to be her most comfortable clothes. I couldn't help the small smile that appeared on my face upon seeing her. She gave me a little peck on my cheek before inviting herself into my hotel room. This increased my fear ten-fold. 

"Hey, glad you made it," I tried to keep my tone light as the atmosphere grew alarmingly quiet. 

"Yeah, I wanted too see you," Lauren situated herself onto my bed, staring up at me with an unrecognisable gaze. I made my way to kneel before her so that she could tell me whatever she needed to. I moved my hands to cradle her face softly in them, thumb running over her smooth fair cheek. 

"What is it?" I kept my voice low and tender as her gaze moved down to chest, her hand smoothing over the butterfly on my chest, that symbolised my belief in the profound effect of every human action.  

"This is beautiful," her hand moved to the intricate lines of the butterfly wings, I felt like she was stalling do I held her hand in mine. 

"What is it, Lauren?" I needed to know. 

"Do you hate your brother?" I was confused by her question. I couldn't fathom any answer to her unexpected question.

"I don't know..." my voice trailed off. 

"I don't want you to," Now her hands held my face, her eyes studying my own. after a few silent minutes she spoke, "It's not his fault, I mean that he has feelings for me, sometimes we don't get to choose who we fall for," Her voice pleaded with me to understand her. 

"I know...Can we not talk about him tonight though? It's been a hectic day as it is." I couldn't help but put up the front to my thoughts. I didn't want Lauren to know that the last person i gave shit about was the guy who shared the same fucking DNA as me. 

"No, Y/N we have to talk about this, I don't want to be the reason why you have to push family away. That's not fair." Her voice grew serious as her eyes searched mine. I kept my vision trained on the flickering of the digital clock beside the bed. My heart began to race at the fact that she was bringing this topic up. 

"Why do you care? Ethan can handle himself, and for the record I don't hate him, things between us are under control for now." My reply made me sound like an ass-hole and i hated it. Lauren kept her gaze firm on me, leaning back to let her body slouch on the edge of my bed. I felt like I had just shut her down even though I promised to start letting  her  in more. Old habits die hard I guess.  

"I'm sorry L..." I exhaled a deep sigh not knowing what else to say. 

"I just..." She started to lift her self up with a defeated look, she began to say more before dismissing herself , "You know what, forget it, doesn't matter..." I stood up to block her way, pulling her into my embrace immediately. I knew she was probably mad at the fact that I didn't giver her the satisfaction of knowing what was really going on, but I couldn't stand the fact that she was going to leave my room angry. I felt her relax into my touch, resistance coming up short. "Stay," her head moved up to meet my eyes, before leaning in to give me a tender kiss, her lips moved against mine slowly as her hands moved against my chest. 

"Your warm," her hot breath met lips at our close proximity as her hands continued to smooth over the skin of my chest. However, they stopped abruptly near my shoulder. It took a split second for me to remember why she had suddenly stopped her movement. "Y/N, who did this to you," her fingers massaged cautiously over the scared skin beneath the dark ink. Suddenly I wished I hadn't made her stay...

Hey guys that seems to be the end of this chapter, sorry for the long update, school's been up my ass for a while but i'm glad i got some time to finish this chapter off. Hasn't been proofread sorry people. Remember to vote and comment to your hearts content. They are of course the only reason why I write. As you may have noticed the story is a slow burn here and there, but don't fret I've got a lot coming up soon that will redeem that so stay patient. 

P.S. the girls  on the 7/27 are killing it!!! Much love and respect for all of them. 

-J