Hardest of Hearts (Lauren/you) ON HIATUS

Withdrawals

I watched Lauren by the window sill of my L.A apartment, making a fresh cup of coffee for the both of us. It had been a tense flight to say the least. Not because I'd said anything wrong but because Lauren couldn't grasp any reason why Camila would choose to leave right now. I had wondered what Sydney thought about all of this, and whether or not she had tried talking her out of it. I honestly didn't care as long as it didn't affect me, but the fact that Lauren was being hit pretty hard was feeling pretty shitty, so I felt compelled to do anything to help. As I walked over with two cups in hand, I watched as she ran a hand shakily through her raven locks, seemingly at a loss of what to do.
"Lauren, made you a cup, thought you might need it," passing her the cup of coffee she looks up at me with a glassy look in her eyes and a half assed smile as a way of showing gratitude. Honestly after that flight from Greece, I was buggered and just hated that shit was hitting the fan as soon as we'd entered American air space.
I made room to sit down beside her, since the window sill was situated on a pretty large area of the wall that faced towards the palm trees and waves of the ocean.
I couldn't help but place my hand on the thigh that was draped over her other leg, needing to let her know I was going to be here.
"How could she do this? Out of all times?" Lauren suddenly spoke aloud what she thoughts had been plaguing her all along.
She sounded defeated, almost like she was struggling for air. I knew her and Camila were pretty much sisters from their history together in the group so it made sense why this was such a shock.
"Maybe she needed a change?" I took a sip of my cooling coffee as I answered with another question.
She side eyed me almost in agreement with what I aid just said. Knowing Lauren it was unlikely she would admit that I was somehow right. I knew the music wasn't getting any better on their end. Hell some 30 year old guy was writing their new songs as replicas of their Work from Home days.

I would never tell her that though since the truth still stood that they were all amazing as individuals and an unstoppable force as a group.

"I knew she was writing her own music and doing side projects...I just never thought she'd just leave us..." as her voice trailed I moved my hand to rest on hers. She looks up at me and smiles sweetly, appreciating the comfort I'm giving her.
I honestly understood why Camila would choose to leave. Even I had those thoughts during my career when things didn't seem to be growing.
"Let's just get some rest, you can talk to her tomorrow when you've had time to rest up and collect your thoughts, my love." Know she was probably still exhausted from our impromptu trip to Greece. I would never admit it , but the withdrawal symptoms I was getting from the lack of any substances since I spoke to Lauren again were beginning to take a toll on me now that I was back to reality.
She nodded her head weakly, and looked out towards the setting sun. The light illuminating her face in ways that accentuated her rosy lips and tan skin.
"You're staring," she suddenly uttered, raising her eyebrow at me. I chuckled and pinched her cheek lightly, not feeling ashamed of it. Now that she was mine for good I had no shame in showing how much I loved her. I just wish my addiction for drink and drugs could just vanish away...
"I'll see you in the bedroom," kissing Lauren on the forehead, I made my way towards the bathroom stripping to go take a shower. My body was shaking as every minute passed and I didn't want her to see me struggle with my body and mind during this time,
that I had to be there for her. Turning on the water I looked at myself in the mirror and noticed the very prominent tan that had appeared on my skin over the last few days. My hair was growing steadily again. The only thing that gave away my struggle was the sheen of sweat that built on my shaking body and the agony behind my eyes. It felt like knives had been shoved into my skull and down my throat as the withdrawal grew. I hastily turned on the shower stepping in before the water heated up.
As the cold water graced my skin, I closed my eyes willing myself to just feel ok, I needed to, wanted to be ok. At least for the sake of Lauren.
Hearing footsteps approach the door, I began to lather soap onto myself as a morsel of normality.
"Let me join." Turning around I saw Lauren pulling her underwear down her pale legs.
Moving out of the way of the shower screen, she steps in , smoothing her hands over my back as I let the water fall over her instead.
Handing me a loofa, Lauren gestures towards the soap with a raised eyebrow, obviously requesting that I later her instead. Moving my shaky hand to grab the soap, I feel my vision blur for a moment before returning to normal. I shook my head subtly as I moved behind Lauren to do as she asked. Smoothing the loofa over her body and watching the soap run down was very intimate and sexy at the same time. I let out an exhale as I willed myself to stand up straight.
Turning around, I see the a concerned look on Lauren's face as she grabs my wrist mid way through my attempt to scrub her back.
Her eyes study as I look back at her and down to her lips.
"I love you y/n."
"I love you too L."
She pulls me in too her so I can wrap my arms around her before going for a kiss. I reciprocate the kiss and hold her tight, mostly because I didn't know if would be able to stand up much longer.
As the kiss deepens and her hands roam I suddenly feel the heat in the shower. The steam rising around us, shrouding us in our moment of lust. The thump of my heart pounds against my chest, palpitating as I struggle for air. Turning her around her around pushing end against the wall, I immediately thrust up from behind her going at a pace that would allow her to find bliss immediately. Her palms are flattened against the bathroom tiles, only the wet slaps of my hips against her ass reverberate around us. She pants and looks back at me with a burning heat in her eyes. I squeeze her harder as I thrust impossibly deeper, inciting a loud moan from her as she backs into me setting a perfect rhythm between us. My breathing starts to get more shallow as I feel my orgasm creep up on me. My vision gets blurry once again as she screams, knees buckling losing the strength to stand up. I come just as quick before we both collapse onto the shower floor struggling to regain our breaths. I reach up to turn the tap off before we both shrivel up like prunes. "Where did that come from?" She suddenly asks me, curious about what led on to my sudden advance. Truth is, I don't even know what brought it on, my body must've needed anything to distract itself from wanting to implode. "I don't know..." getting up off the floor, I extend my hand to help her up before we both dry ourselves off.
"Are you ok babe?" Lauren asks while wrapping herself up before leaving the room. I wasn't surprised that she was noticing my silence. I was just desperately trying to stave off the nausea until she left the bathroom.
Nodding at her I say, "yeah...I'm fine, just a long flight. I'll see you in a bit just gonna shave a bit." I smoothed my hand over my rough stubble as a cover up.
"Ok, I'll be in the next room, just let me know if you need anything." Blowing me a kiss she leaves. And once the door closes I heave onto the toilet in a sweaty mess...