Bound To The Mafia King

Kitchen Disater

When I asked myself 'How hard could it be?' to teach Rachel to cook I clearly had no idea what I was up against. It was like teaching a blind kid to read. Literally. I decided we would go for something easy it being our first lesson and all. I choose spaghetti. You season the meat and then brown it and boil the noodles and then drain them and then you mix everything together. Simple. Or at least I thought so. Boy was I wrong.

"Add the salt, pepper, seasoning salt, garlic salt, and oregano and then mix it into the meat." I told her as I sat on the counter watching her attempt to cook. She spilt half of the seasonings onto the floor which meant I had to give her more seasonings to add to the meat.

"Crap!" She yelled and I tried to comfort her to calm her down. She started to bend down and scoop up the spices on the floor with her bare hands.

"Rach it's okay, don't worry about the mess right now. We will clean up afterwards. Wash your hands you touched the floor." I explained to her and she agreed that was a good idea. When she was done with washing her hands she came back and stirred the meat. So far so good mostly.

"Okay now you need to pour your water into the big pot and let it boil before you add the noodles." I instructed and she carefully poured the water and turned the burner on medium. While she waited for the water to boil she finished the meat and strained the grease out of the meat. Instead of doing it over the trash can she strained the grease onto the kitchen floor which made a big greasy mess.

"Oh fuck!" She gasped and dropped the meat onto the kitchen counter meat flying out of the strainer and onto the cabinets.

"Leave it we will clean later. Don't worry about it." I wanted to laugh because she looked so mad it was almost comical but I held it in.

"You need to put the meat back into the pan because you need to drain the noodles." I read the next step off of the recipe. She carefully completed the task without spilling anything and for that I was thankful.

"What next?" She asked me with big eyes and a huge smile on her face I'm guessing she is happy she didn't spill any thing. That made two of us.

"Now that you've drained the noodles and your meat you need to put the noodles back into the big pan and then add the meat." She again completed the task without making a mess.

"Next?" She asked me again with a big smile on her face.

"Now you are going to make your sauce. It's a little tricky. First you need to empty the can of sauce into the little pan." I told her and she looked confused.

"I thought I was making my own sauce?"

"Well you kind of are. You're taking the can of sauce and you are going to make it your own. Just follow my instructions." I told her and shooed her back to the stove.

"Once your done add salt, pepper, garlic salt, and Italian seasonings stirring slowly as your pour them in."

"Once you've added the seasoning you need to add your milk, wine, and your drained tomato chunks in." She poured the milk and wine in but when it came time to the drained tomatoes she dropped the can onto the floor sending diced tomatoes all over the place.

"Dammit!!" She yelled frustratedly. I opened another can of diced tomatoes and drained then and sat them on the counter.

"Don't worry you're almost done then we will clean this mess up. Now you just have to add the fresh can of tomatoes in and stir." She did as I told her and mixed everything all together.