Never ✧ KnB x Reader Oneshots

Generation of Miracles (1)

when ur memeing gets in the way of writing

these r the tru problems

The italics are what meme I'm using, m'kay

Nothing is meant to be taken seriously. I just really wanted to write this ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

(...)

Akashi

It was oddly quiet in the halls of Rakuzan. Sure, the girls chittered by their lockers and the boys talked about the latest game to hit the markets. It's just that there was something unsettling about this atmosphere. Akashi couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was the brand new lighting in the hallways that made everything look like it was illuminated with its only personal sun. Maybe it was those young men around his girlfriend [Name].

Wait, what?

Akashi anger meter skyrocketed when he saw [Name] laughing at what one of the guys said to her. He walked over there, making sure to keep his calm demeanor the whole time. Just as he was going to put his hand on one of their shoulders, he felt someone glaring at his direction. It just so happened that [Name] had seen him stalking over to them and was the source of this bloodthirst he was feeling.

The boy noticed his presence and looked at Akashi. "Oh, hello Akashi. Do you need something?" he asked. Akashi knew that he had to say something. Something that was threatening, but not too threatening. As perfect and terrifying Akashi is, the wrath of his girlfriend was something to be feared.

"What's this you've said to me, my good friend? I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in conflict resolution, and I've been involved in numerous friendly discussions, and I have over 300 confirmed friends. I am trained in polite discussions and I'm the top mediator in Japan. You are worth more to me than just another target. I hope we will come to have a friendship never before seen on this Earth. As we speak I am contacting my good friends and your P.O. box is being traced right now so you better prepare for the greeting cards, friend. The greeting cards that can help you. You should look forward to it, friend. I can be anywhere, anytime for you, and I can calm you in over seven hundred ways, and that's just with my shogi set. Not only am I extensively trained in conflict resolution, but I have access to the entire group of my friends and I will use them to their full extent to start our new friendship. If only you could have known what kindness and love your little interaction was about to bring you, maybe you would have reached out sooner. But you couldn't, you didn't, and now we get to start a new friendship, you unique person. I will give you gifts and you might have a hard time keeping up. You're finally living, friend."

Akashi slapped him on the back and went out of the room.

A Variation of the Navy Seal Copypasta

(...)

Aomine

"[Name], give me my socks back."

The girl looked over to her boyfriend from her sprawled position on her bed. She shook her head. Aomine groaned and wiggled his toes. "Babe, my feet are freezing over here!" She still shook her head. "I'm trying to see how it is to live in your socks," she said. He looked over his shoulder at her while giving her a classic 'WTF' look.

"Bro, I want to be with you every step of the way."

Aomine touched his chest while giving his girlfriend a heartfelt look.

"Bro..."

Bro

(...)

Kise