Never ✧ KnB x Reader Oneshots

Kasamatsu Yukio (4)

⚞ i've been rewatching Kuroko's Basketball, and that got my fanfic brain itching. do people even read these oneshots anymore? idk. hopefully i've improved since the last oneshot ive uploaded :) here's another one for my favorite character! ⚟

The 5 Signs You're Totally into Him

Your life is totally, completely, positively ruined... and it's all because of a magazine.

Let's start from the beginning.

After an incident concerning an ero-mag, a teeny bikini, and some honeydew melons, Coach Takeuchi decided to add 'magazine inspector' to your list of duties as the Keijō basketball team manager. And sure, impromptu pose contests have gone down by 100%, but come on! You already got a lot on your plate. Babysitting a bunch of punks more than you already do shouldn't be one of them.

Alas, here you are, holding up a magazine like just touching it is physically harming you. Here they are, sitting around in a circle like they've formed a cult. "Hey!!" Hayakawa protests, "We were using that!"

You look between the magazine and the boys. From what you can tell, it's one of those tween magazines. The kind with celebrity gossip, 'who wore it better', five ways to tell if your crush is going to drop everything and run away with you, crap like that. Your frown only deepens. "No shit. Why are you reading this?"

"It's the horoscopes," Kise explains, "Since it works so well for Midorimacchi, everyone wanted to read their horoscope. Which, by the way, my horoscope says that it's a bad day for practicing 'cause I might get hurt sooo—"

One magazine is thrown in his face. "Denied," you say sternly, wiping your fingers on your shirt, "You boys are hopeless. You have better things to do than reading some slop like that. Like getting ready for practice. Y'know, for the team you're on?"

An offended gasp echoes through the locker room. "Slop? Slop?!!!" Moriyama says, picking up the magazine and holding it to his chest like he can shield it from your cruel words. "Look here! This is anything but slop. This is gospel! This is the Bible for all teenage boys!"

Silence. Note the lack of anyone agreeing with Moriyama.

"The Bible?" you repeat.

"I said what I said."

You pinch the bridge of your nose as Moriyama explains further. "Seriously! This is the holy grail of information. Everything that us teens are thinking about are hidden in these pages. How the hell am I supposed to get a girlfriend without this?" Moriyama asks, flipping through the magazine. "It's in here somewhere... Aha! See!" He slaps it down on the bench for everyone to see.

You lean over. "Does your crush like you?" you read aloud, "The 5 signs that they're totally into you." Hearing that has a lot of the guys leaning with you. Even Kobori, who had just been using the locker room as normal, can't resist the allure of this forbidden information. But you can, easily. "This is stupid," you deadpan.

"There's no accounting for taste," Moriyama says with a sigh.

Kise shakes his head. "No, they're right. This is stupid. If a girl likes you, she'll just tell you," he says.

"Not everyone has girls falling over themselves to date them!" Nakamura counters angrily, "A lot of us have to figure out the subtle clues girls put down for us."

Seeing how everyone is trying to get a read of this magazine, Moriyama holds it and coughs into his fist. As he prepares to read aloud the five tenants of crushing for his flock of sheep, you put your face in your hands. You sigh with a weariness that normal high schoolers shouldn't have access to. "Guys. Practice starts in two minutes. I highly suggest you get your happy asses out there unless you want Captain to kick them—" Your plea is stopped by a question Moriyama poses to you. He had read ahead, and something in these words made his singular brain cell light up.