Until then

Warmth Lost and Dead

If someone gave me the option to

look inside them

feel what they feel

hear what they hear

know what they think

see what they see

There is no question needed to ask

I would take it

within seconds

I would be there

familiar world

tho strangely off

It seems so easy to desire

hope, idealize

I wish I could

be you, know you

just for a day

just to know truth

Do you love me or is it all for you?

I gave the key to my open heart

hoping you'd look

inside my vault

for curiosity

yet dust remains

the lock untouched

And now I hurt more than when I wrote

feelings exposed

need to be held

yet not one cares

words proven true

hoping for wrong

Time comes with no family to love

never to heal

not to replace

raised to be left

never the same

warmth lost and dead

Can't help my hurt. Do you want me, or not?

Love with constant inconsistency

hurts more than hate

beats anticipate

then break with truth

every time

yet I don't stop

I promise to never stop trying

to reach my kin

my family

I did not choose

yet I still want

the ones I lost

Because I know the good in your hearts

like no other

I know the guilt

held to your chest

I see the sad

with my same eyes

I will wait for my blood, until all dies.

I don't mind the bruises to reach you

minor setbacks

because truly

I'll cry rivers

to reach oceans

if you call me

And I know, I am far from foolish

to hold onto

true memories

an orphan now

can still hold close

the home she lost

Pictures in hand, I'll find you again

that family

that I once had

I loved deeply

an endless search

wholeheartedly

8/16/13