Until then

Not One Creature

Follow me one day

I see you so clear

Feel so connected

Tears well with one look

I know I see home

A part of me lost

I need to retrieve

But when, I question

Tonight I saw you move

Closer and closer

But then you just stopped

How did I ruin this

First the most obvious

Me, "Am I crazy?"

I hoped for a no

But received a yes

I had to know more

"Is there a reason?"

The answer still yes

I doubt my own eyes

"Will the crazy hurt?"

No answer received

"Will it ruin others?"

First firm NO you gave

That's all that matters

But you stayed alert

As if to warn me

"My crazy hurts me?"

Pity fills home's face

Maybe you'll come soon

Come back to get us

Take us where it's safe

Truth is, I might stay

I'm not even good

I really am selfish

I choose the martyr

The last to survive

Would make me suffer

I know of the pain

Awaits my torture

I feel fully deserving

Of all excruciating pain

Disagreements ignored

When that void must be filled

But I do hope you follow

Find me always needing you

Please, I ask for patience

Just know I will come home

I want your welcome arms

The tears burn and stab here

My return home is necessary

But I must leave all behind

On expiring, melting dust

Feeling indescribable pain

Never-ending is the sadness

When happiness is taught

See you in Earth's night sky

The tears are not for you

It's my own paradox

Between need and selfish

Coming home to see death

The end that destroys all

This world of small people

Maybe clueless, yet deserving

My mind always haunted

By all the worthy faces

I chose to leave and ignore

Thus scarring my happiness

I will always look at you

To feel closer to my home

Continue my watch, until you

Decide to leave us forever

I must be selfish and stay back

If you must go, please move on

I can only understand how you feel

That I've changed closer to them

True, my selfish comes from pity

But even above that is love

I can't leave one creature behind

A weakness I decided I can accept

5/19/13