Until then

Damned With or Without

Talking is a chore.

Life becomes a bore.

My screaming eardrum keeps me up all night.

Despite my head in a grip. Hummed high pitches.

Skating between my fingers. Thrust into my ears and splinter.

The knife of a crowd. Kindling disbandment from society; keeping me solitary.

Undivided attention, in excess. Knowing only of me and a life of lonely.

Hungry to see into you. The only antidote rife in poison. Ravenous to hear your words before the vice starts to ensue.

Pleading for the stamina to stay, bear the acrimony rigged to derange.

Retain. Hold on. Just long enough to be one of you. Grasp the world through your view.

Conversing wholly through pen stomps on my heart, keeping my requisites askew.

Written word terrorizing my hand. Impassively awaiting response in a remote, far-away land.

My distance mistaken as uncouth, distress distinguished as aloof.

Though, nothing could be further from the truth.

My desire to know you is already too grand.

The wonder who is not me.

The chance to observe, behold a new creature.

It's purely curiosity. Perceiving beyond me. Division driven by throes of anguish.

Merging our worldly knowledge in unity. Addiction driven by the lore.

Perseverance in exert. Compulsed to engage with masses.

Sociality chained up. The incessant drilling in my head; unwanted burrs left behind.

Life is immortally detained with faltering hopes to endure.

But I know my place. I know who I am. Withdrawn to withstand.

Confronted by madness, infiltrated by stridency, discordance etched in haphazard tones.

Corroding my command, sundering my thoughts, novelty left scant from jarring clamors.

Coercing me to abandon civilization for lonely. All insight is left to strand.

A loner in prospect.

Internally damned.

9/9/13