3 years ago...
Of all people, why me?
Hindi ko talaga maiwasang kwestyunin ang Dyos noong mga panahong iyon. Kung bakit sa dinami rami ng tao sa mundo, bakit sa akin pa nangyari. Wala naman ako ibang ginawa kundi sundin ang magulang ko, mag aral ng mabuti at maging mabuting kaibigan. Ang gusto ko lang naman ay magawa ang mga gusto ko noong araw na iyon.
When everything's going accordingly to what you planned, something always terrible happens.
It was that one summer graduation, I found myself wearing a white toga and lying on the pedestrian lane, desperately trying to survive. My white robe is covered in blood. I was surrounded by people, people feeding their curiousities instead of helping me. They were taking pictures of me to upload on their social media accounts.
My vision is not clear and I want to puke because of the impact that collided my stomach. My muscles felt so numb, my skin feels like being scratched with a knife, my head is throbbing and my heart is pounding so fast.
Loud music was playing from the nearby restaurant. Nakakabingi. I love music, I really do. Pero nagmistulang funeral song sa pandinig ko ang kantang iyon. Parang gusto ko nalang mabingi para hindi na makarinig pa ng anumang ingay. Perhaps, music.
Pinakiramdaman ko ang aking katawan. Hinawakan ko ang ulo ko nang maramdamang basa ito. I saw that solid red liquid on my palm. Blood was oozing from my head, creating a metallic smell. It was the reason why I was bathing on my own blood. It feels like I am running out if blood and it scares me every second of my life. Waves of memories flashed on my head like a panorama. Nasa isip ko noon, mamamatay na ako.
Umayon ang panahon sa nararamdaman kong hirap at sakit, the rain suddenly pour from the sky, washing the blood trails on my hands. Nag sialisan ang mga tao para sumilong dahilan para maiwan akong mag isa sa gitna ng kalsada. Pakiramdam ko ay naiwan ako sa kawalan. Gusto kong mabuhay pero sadyang nawawalan na ako ng pag asa sa mga oras na iyon. Unti unti nang namamanhid ang aking katawan. It was... A disaster.
Unti-unti akong nawalan ng pag asa kada pagpatak ng segundo na nakahandusay ako sa malamig na kalsada. Walang tulong na dumarating. Naramdaman kong tumulo ang butil ng aking luha padausdos sa gilid ng mata ko. Kasabay niyon ang unti-unting pagbigat ng aking mga talukap.
Ramdam ko ang pang hihina ng aking katawan. Hindi ko na iyon magawang labanan pa kaya tuluyan kong niyakap ang kadilimang bumalot sa akin.
The last thing I saw before I closed my eyes was a man, wearing the same suit as mine.
