Rule Two// c.h

Hands To Myself

The weekend came faster than expected and I was sorely unprepared.

"You're hopeless."

"A lost cause."

"Calum is going to dump you after this." I was a frustrated, embarrassed mess as my friends insulted me. I had followed their every instruction, done what they had shown me and still, it was somehow not good enough.

"What more can I do!" I exclaimed. "I copied your motions exactly. I don't see how I'm doing it wrong." I argued. Jackie sat up on my bed to look at me. She was shaking her head.

"It's like you said, you were copying our motions, you weren't feeling it." My face felt like it was on fire.

"I don't want to feel it." I grumbled.

"Then why agree to do this for him?" Maria asked.

"I don't know!" I groaned. "It sounded good in the moment. He was excited!" I exclaimed. "I can't back out. We've never done anything sexual before."

"You don't have to rush into this Lily. Calum will understand. He's a nice guy." Kenzie reminded me. I fidgeted, twirling the sheets of my bed around in my hands. "Unless.. There's something else you're worried about." I sighed, looking away from them.

"I'm scared he'll leave me because we haven't had sex yet."

"That's ridiculous. Boys are dumb, Calum's not a boy. He's a man. He's not dumb." Katie said, patting me on the back. I was still worried though, despite their words of encouragement.

"You don't have to do this just so he'll stay with you Lily." Jackie continued earnestly.

"It's not just that though.. I want to be with him I'm just scared." They were quiet.

"One day you won't be." Maria smiled. It was hard not to smile back at her. Her smile was contagious. "There we go, perked you right back up." She said triumphantly.

"Just tell him how you feel this Saturday." Katie said as Jackie gave me a reassuring nod of her head. "He won't be angry or upset." I laughed a little.

"He's my boyfriend. I should know this."

"Sometimes people need a reminder." Jackie said lightly, touching my hair. I smiled.

"This is why you guys are my best friends."

"That and because we're just really fucking amazing." Kenzie stated. We laughed, launching into a different conversation.

----

Calum hadn't brought it up. I was surprised. I thought he would be jump on it the moment we were alone together. Instead, we had gone out for ice cream where he told me about last weeks party and how fucked up he had gotten. I laughed at him, shaking my head. "I know, you called me remember?" He frowned.

"Honestly no. What did I say?"

"The usual, how you thought I was really hot and how you couldn't believe I was with you." He nodded his head in agreement.

"Those are all true." I rolled my eyes at him, laughing. "What else happened?"

"You kept trying to convince me the earth was flat." I said, continuing to laugh. Calum grinned.

"What?"

"You were like, 'Lil! Lily, babe. The earth it's like flat you know? Don't believe the conspiracy theory that it's round.' And I kept trying to tell you that it was not flat and that it was indeed round and I asked you about the other countries besides America and Europe, because you were convinced that it was just us up here on this flat earth and you said, 'Babe, those are fake have you ever been?' And I said no and your reply was, 'See! I'm in college Lily I know my shit.'" Calum started laughing.

"No way, my god." He said, leaning back in his seat. "That's awesome."

"I wish I could have recorded it somehow."

"So you could keep it and embarrass me at our wedding or something." Sometimes Calum would nonchalantly bring up our future together, like how we would have two kids or be married someday and it always made the butterflies in my stomach build up. I smiled.

"Something like that."

We went back to his house after that and were sitting in his room watching a movie on his bed. I thought he would say something then but he didn't and I was getting nervous. Why hadn't he brought it up? I fidgeted constantly against him until he finally said, "Are you okay?"

"Yes." I replied in a shaky voice.

"No you're not. You're freaking out, I can tell. You don't have to go through with what you promised you know. I don't mind. I know you were just saying that to get me to stay out and have fun. Though, I still argue the point that I have fun with you too."

"No, I want to do it." I argued sitting up and moving away from him a little.

"You're shaking." He said with a grin.

"So what? I'm nervous, I've never done this."

"Exactly, and you don't have to do it now. Come here." He said opening his arms so I could sit back next to him and lay against his chest. I shook my head, biting my bottom lip. "What else is it? Something else is making you nervous too." I sighed and nodded. "Okay, out with it. Come on what's the matter?"

"I'm scared you'll leave me." I blurted out. He looked at me confused before it hit him.

"Because we haven't had sex?" I didn't say anything. I looked away. "Ah, Lily." He grabbed my hand and squeezed it. "Who do you think I am? Sex isn't everything."

"I know! I'm just.. Worried is all." He smiled slightly.

"Well let me put your fears to rest, I'm not going to leave just because we've never fucked before. That's stupid. You're a virgin and you're scared. I don't care. I love you and even if I have to wait until marriage to have sex with you that's fine. I'm a big boy I'll get over it." I laughed nervously.

"But Calum..." I began to argue.

"No buts, you're my girl." He leaned in and kissed my cheek and my face turned a little red. "Okay? Now come on, let's watch the movie." Calum tugged on my arm but I didn't move to sit next to him, instead I swung my leg over his and sat down on his lap. He sat up, running his hands up the sides of my legs and to my ass.

"I love you." I murmured before kissing him, my hands on the back of his neck. He kissed me back, gripping my waist tightly. "And I still want to give you that handjob I promised." I said against his lips.

"Lil' you really don't have to."

"Don't lie, you're excited." I could feel the bulge in his pants against my leg.

"Okay but don't listen to that guy. He's always excited when you get on top of me." I pulled back, my hands on his cheeks as I smiled mischievously at him.

"So let him out." His eyes went a little wide and he cleared his throat, trying to keep a calm composure.

"Lily, it's fine."

"Do you not want me to do it?" I asked, running one hand down Calum's chest and towards his crotch. I couldn't tell where all this courage was coming from. Where had I been hiding it? He glanced down at my hand and then back up at my eyes.

"God, Lily." He groaned, shifting underneath me as I slowly traced a pattern into his thigh. "Cut it out." He said breathing in deeply.

"I'm not joking Calum." My hands went to the button of his jeans. He stopped me, his large hands encompassing mine.

"Lily, at least close the door all the way." He breathed out. I glanced up. Oh right. His door was open a smidgen. Sliding off of him I went and closed it quietly, locking it.

"Are you loud?" I asked climbing back onto him.

"I.. Well, uh..." He was the one who was nervous now. I grinned. "You're going to have to be quiet Calum." I whispered kissing him lightly. "Or I'll have to stop." He opened his mouth to say something but shut it quickly, nodding his head. "Okay and try not to get any on me okay?"

"I'm in love with you." He said as I undid the zipper for his jeans. I leaned in and kissed him.

"I know."