So I found my step dads ace bandage and I took it. I was nervous at first but no ones even noticed. It feels nice to have a flat chest, even if its only a little bit. I also got my friend to get me another one so I'm gonna be able to double bind and its gonna be awesome. This is the first time I've been in a truly good mood since I got my hair cut short. The only down fall is that this thing screws up my back and shoulders. But it's worth it. In my opinion at least. I'm not saying 'Oh hey, if your ftm transgender you better find an ace bandage!' Its only because of my circumstances. So if you have the ability to get an actual binder or just a better way to bind, DO IT! Hopefully it doesn't hurt as bad as an ace bandage. Actually, it probably doesn't.
So now it's technically the 27th but I just really want to rant or... something. I'm talking to my girlfriend right now about school and stuff and we wish we could go to school together and live near each other and stuff and be accepted. The reason I say I wish we could be accepted is cuz everyone in this town thinks I'm a girl and they would look at us like lesbians. Can I just say I fucking hate that word. Like, if someone really is lesbian its okay, I don't care. They're a lesbian, so what. But I've been called a lesbian before and it pisses me off. I AM NOT A MOTHERFUCKING LESBIAN. It pisses me off because that says I am a girl who likes girls when that is not true whatsoever. I am a guy. Who likes girls. Seriously. I am not a goddamn lesbian. I came out to one of my friends like a week ago as trans and he doesn't believe me. He still looks at me like a girl. He has a fucking crush on me. Just the other day he tried to kiss me and I got mad. I just don't even want to be around him anymore. I think I'm gonna have my brother take me to school instead of riding the bus cuz Andrew rides it. I feel bad ditching him but he'll make new friends. I just am tired of feeling like a little girl when I'm around him and I feel like lately people have been targeting me and forcing me into being a girl more. No one even knows! Except Andrew and my friend Rory. That's about it. I'm just done. I think I'm gonna be dead before summer comes. Anyway, see ya guys.
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My Journal
Non-FictionI'm just a transboy looking for a way to get my feelings out. If you don't respect or don't like anything lgbt+, mogai, non binary, or queer--please leave. This journal may be helpful for some people who are new to the queer community or who are thi...