My Journal

July 26, 2014

Its only 9:16 am and today is already a bad fucking day. I'm so fucking pissed at my dad and just everyone.

So today I was supposed to go with my dad to Utah and I was gonna see Rayn (my best friend ever) and my dog who I raised and trained and is my baby girl and I was also gonna be able to see my sister.

But I have a dentist appointment. And instead of just rescheduling it so I can still go, he basically uses it as an excuse so he doesn't have to wait five whole minutes for me to see Rayn.

Rayn and I are super close and usually if we're away from each other for more than a certain amount of time we get really upset (mostly me) and it sucks. Lately I've been thinking about cutting and doing bad things anyway and so now I'm gonna just hide in the bathroom since I don't have anywhere else and I'm gonna cut myself and I'm gonna be angry and I'm gonna deal with it.

I also have missed my dog a ton. She's the cutest Dalmatian ever and she's my baby but I can't see her either. And this just sucks.

The other night when my sister told me that we weren't going and only my dad was I went in the bathroom and had two anxiety attacks and cried so much my face was raw and the skin on my neck, arms and anywhere else thst might have made contact with tears was sticky and it was so horrible.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm being stupid but Rayn is my best friend ever and I've never been so close to anyone before and my dog is my baby and I miss her so much and I just wanted to see my sister. But of course fuck me and what I want. That seems to be how everyone thinks when it comes to me.