My Journal

March 11, 2014

Hey guys so I know I don't usually update this fast but some shit has happened recently and I dont know I guess wanted to talk about it.

Last now some cops came to my house and found some stuff. Someone in my family is in jail now and I guess another family member is on the run. Thats really all I can say I guess. I'm sorry I can't give all the details but its really personal stuff.

There really isn't much I can say for now. All this has happened yesterday. I have people to take care of me and all that so that parts fine its just things like paying the rent and stuff. We have no money. We're struggling but I guess we'll figure things out somehow.

I don't know when I can update on YouTube again because my sisters laptop isn't useable at the moment. But I'll try and figure something out.

Oh and will all you guys just post a small comment. Even if its random letters or even one letter. I want to follow all of you.

Uhm, I guess thats all there is to say right now. I love you all and please comment so I can follow you.

So the person who's on the run or whatever called my sister today. He's not really on the run he's like trying to get us money and then he is going to turn himself in. It sucks because he's going to prison but I mean, thats kinda what happens when you deal with fucking meth.

To be honest at the moment I'm not sure who to believe out of a lot of my family except my siblings. I mean yesterday I admitted to my brother that I'm... doing bad things and we had a really awesome man to man talk.

My siblings know I have been suicidal and when one of my sisters found out she started crying and she hugged me and told me not to kill myself and I felt genuinely loved which hasn't happened in a long time.

I'm really sick right now so I didn't go to school today and im not going the rest of the week and I swear to fucking god that if I get arrested someone is going to get a cactus up their asshole and a goddamn shoe shoved down they're throat.

Blowing off some steam there I guess.

Anyway, I don't know if anyone saw my status thing but I was on tumblr and found this really awesome transgender thing (I'll see if I can get a link or something or you can just follow me on tumblr arynshowmevideos which is also my youtube) and I posted it on my personal facebook where church members, people from school, and family members will see and I'm really proud of myself. Maybe this is how I'm going to come out to my dad. I'm not sure. I don't really know if anyone is even going to see it though cuz I posted it at like midnight but oh the fuck well I'm still proud so yeah.

Why am I in a good mood when I'm sick and my family is getting put in jail? I don't know but I'm just weird like that. Anyway, night guys.