My Journal

March 7, 2014

This week has been fun.

The beginning of this week I was just slightly upset so I wanted to hang out with my friend but he was in California so we couldn't hang out. It was fine and all but everyone's been ignoring me. I'm kinda used to it by now but literally everyone has been ignoring me now. There's one person who hasn't been ignoring me but we only talk for like ten minutes some times.

I don't even know whats going on with my family. I found out someone in my family is on illegal substances. He left yesterday morning but came back when I got gome from school and broke our glass door. He later slashed the tires on my sisters car.

Now he's back home and I don't even know whats happening.

A little after that I was talking to one of my friends on kik and she had the audacity to complain to me about her life being so hard because she's sixteen and her dad is making her get a job. She was so mad because he wants to turn off her phone until she gets a job and her reason on being so upset is that she's stressed. I asked what she was stressed about and she said school. School. I understand school can be stressful. I go to school too. I mean she doesn't have the best life either but she has parents who take care of her. She has parents who love her. She has parents. I don't know if she realizes teenagers who are still in school usually get jobs. I blocked her on kik and I don't think I'm gonna talk to her again. Can you blame me? That fucking hurts. When someone has a good life and all they do is complain about how horrible their life is and don't even ask how you're feeling or how your day went. Fuck her.

I got shit sleep last night and still had to go to school but I was late and my teacher was a total cock about it. Later in class he apologized and I just started crying. It was embarrassing but it happened. He helped me finish my paper after that.

And during this entire week I can't help but feel so alone. I just want a good guy who won't fucking judge me.

I haven't self-harmed in something like a month but today I did it again. I promised so many people I wouldn't do it again. That was a year ago before I had any scars. But then again no one really cares about me. I doubt anyone would even notice if I were gone.