Beautiful Disaster; Beautiful Reality.

Hint Of Homesickness.

Mika's PoV
I woke up early, jet lag already kicking in. I tried to go back to sleep but my mind was already wide awake. Instead I watched Hannah sleep and wondered what she'd been thinking. I'd noticed we'd both been quiet for most of the journey and she was very quiet when we went to bed. I got the impression that she didn't want to be here and I think I'd feel the same if I were her. I just need her right now. I need her to keep on being her whilst I get over myself.

The clock hands flickered to show that it was now eight thirty and I'd given up on trying to sleep. I quietly got up and dressed and decided to go on a walk.

The streets were bustling as I decided to go in the rush hour! Not clever. I was being pushed and pulled all over the wide path and ended up getting lost. Once I'd found my way back I stopped at a coffee shop opposite a park. I got a skinny latte and walked around the edge of the small park, slowly sipping at my latte. Trees lines the edges of the park, each had small benches underneath looking out onto the green towards the small central pond.
'Mel would have loved this' I thought to myself as I started to walk in the direction of the hotel. Mel. I'm going to miss her a lot.

Before I knew it I was back at the hotel room face to face with an already pissed off Hannah.
"Mika where were you?" She asked.
"I went for a walk." I replied simply.
"Why? I was worried you left me stranded in America." She said sounding very worried.
"You should know I'd never leave you here. In fact I'd never leave you at all. So please don't worry. I just needed some air. There's a nice park a few metres away." I replied calmly.
"A park that Mel would like?" She asked.
"Yeah." I said sounding homesick already. I knew she really didn't want to be here. I also knew she'd try to persuade me to go home with her the entire time we're here.
"Hannah, I know you don't want to be here so if you want to go home then you can stay in our flat and be normal and-" admittedly I did start to ramble a little bit.
"Mika, I don't want to, purely because you'd cut me off until you got home and I couldn't survive on my own for that long. Honestly your all I have so don't send me home alone." She protested stubbornly. I smiled gratefully.
"Thanks." I responded thankfully. Then I gave her a hug. A big long one. She was soon trying to wriggle out of my grasp.
"Mika," she began, treating me like a child. "Why won't you let me go?"
"Because it feels nice to hold you." I smiled. She then grabbed the pillow and hit me so I let go.
"Hey!" I shouted, grabbing another pillow and throwing it at her.
"Missed!" She shouted back. So, naturally, I threw another one.
"Hey!" She smiled playfully.
"Didn't miss that time!" I said triumphantly smirking at her.
"Ha ha very funny! But I do need to get dressed." She said pulling at her short pyjama bottoms and shirt.
"Why?" I asked, probably sounding like a little kid.
"Because I can't stay in my pyjamas all day!" She replied sounding like my mum. But she did have a point.
"So am I allowed to get dressed Mika?" She asked sarcastically.
"No!" I joked. Unfortunately she threw another pillow at me then ran to the bathroom with her clothes.
"You win!" I shout through the door.
"I know Mika!" She replied happily.

I flopped back on the bed, craving normality, knowing I won't get it by going back home towards the chaos of hospitals and life changing decisions.
The world just seemed so dark at the moment. I hope Hannah can shine a light on it for me, like I did for her.

Hannah's PoV
Once I was finally dressed I came back out to see Mika lying on the end of the bed as though he sat down and fell back and fell asleep. I smiled as he did a small whistle like snore. I went and lied next to him. He didn't move. He was clearly shattered and I'm not surprised. I don't know when he last slept properly. I don't think he slept much last night; I could feel him moving around a lot. But now I have a chance to think, I do feel homesick. I do miss Mel and Fortuné. I miss Zuleika, Yasmine and Paloma. I miss the funny little flat.

I felt a tear run down my face as my thoughts turned darker and turned to the negatives of this situation. I then felt a gentle hand on my cheek rub away the tear. I turned to face Mika and saw his lips form a straight line. I smiled, trying to hide my homesickness. I wanted to stay happy in the hope he'd perk up and decide to go home. His eyes filled with concern.
"Hannah, what's wrong?" He asked caringly.
"Nothing." I said smiling.
"Please, no secrets." He said kindly.
"Just... Jet lag mixed with a touch of homesickness." I said as though it was nothing.
"Hmm... Anything I can do to help?" He whispered as he wrapped his arms around me.
"Just stay with me." I replied quietly.
"Trust me," he said kissing my neck, "I'm not ever leaving you."
"Good." I half moaned as he continued to kiss my neck. His hands went all over my body but I stopped them. As they came to my waist, reaching for my trousers I roughly placed my hand on his wrist. He looked up and was clearly concerned.
"S-sorry." He mumbled sheepishly whisky climbing off of me.
"No Mika..." I started.
"Sorry." He said again, retreating to the bathroom.
"No Mika it wasn't you. I-I'm being stupid." I stumbled over my words. He stopped and came back. I patted the spot next to me on the bed and he carefully sat down.
"I don't want to hurt you." He said slowly.
"You're not. Honestly. I just don't want to do that at the moment because I'm feeling homesick and that will make me feel worse." I said smiling, trying to make him feel better.
"Okay. Just remember I love you even if I can't show that at the moment." He said kindly.
"You can but I don't want to go that far Mika." I replied gently.
"Kissing allowed?" He asked.
"Yes." I replied and started to kiss him.

At least in this strange place I have a glimmer of hope that the old Mika still exists. The old fun loving Mika. The child-like one who didn't have to face the big bad world. But for now we were staying hidden from this darkening world.