Beautiful Disaster; Beautiful Reality.

Face My Demons.

I laid in the bed, feeling warm and safe and loved. Hannah's arms were wrapped around me and felt skinny and bony. Skinnier than I remember. I saw her eyes open quickly and stare in front of the bed to where Mel was curled up. She quickly got up and headed to the kitchen, probably not noticing I was awake.

I sat up and yawned. I looked around my little bedroom feeling happy; happy to be at home, to be with her, to have a slice of normality. Soon Hannah returned with a steaming cup of coffee.
"Thanks." I said gratefully.
"Well, it's nice to have you back." She replied happily, tightening the belt on her turquoise silk dressing gown. It showed her curves more but also how thin she looked. I hadn't noticed until now but she looks too thin, fragile, delicate. Had she been eating whilst I've been so busy? Had I been ignorant? Had I ignored the obvious?

My thoughts spiralled out of control as I started to immediately think the worst and over react. Maybe it was just the dressing gown. That's all. Calm Mika.
"Stop being stupid." I mumbled to myself.
"What?" Hannah looked up from her coffee.
"Oh, I'm being an idiot again!" I replied smiling like a dork.
"Funny that," She started, walking slowly over to me. "I thought you were just talking to yourself." She finished, running her finger down my lips.
"I'm just mad then. That must be okay!" I replied sarcastically.
"Makes it more interesting." She replied kindly. I smiled at that.

She retreated to the bathroom to get dressed and then headed straight to the kitchen. A few minutes Mel and I smelt bacon and came running into the kitchen where Hannah was dishing up a large plate of bacon and eggs with lots of ketchup.

She sat opposite me at the table. Her plate was a lot smaller than mine and looked bare compare to my mountain of bacon. I smiled down at my plate as Hannah slowly began to eat hers. Then I slid some of my bacon onto her plate, just to even things out. She looked up at me with a mock angry face and tried to put it back but I swung my plate away.
"You've got to eat more. You're getting way too thin." I said smiling.
"No, I'm really not." She replied looking down at herself.
"Yes you are." I replied slowly. I quickly finished eating my bacon and watched her eat hers. She reluctantly finished her bacon and stared at me. Her blue eyes sparkled as they poured into mine.

She got up and took her plate to the dishwasher and put it in there; I quickly followed. She then went to the door and was about to walk through it. I put my hands around her skinny waist and pulled her towards me. I slowly wrapped my arms around her waist and rested my chin on her head.
"You've gotten so skinny." I whispered.
"No I haven't." She replied quietly.
"Mm. You have. Don't get any skinnier, you're perfect to me as you are; I don't care what size you are." I whispered again, leaning down to kiss her cheek.
"Mmm, that's reassuring. But, to change the subject, you still need to see Paloma." She said softly as I kissed her cheek again. I stiffened slightly. I knew I had to sooner or later.
"I know. I suppose we can go today." I responded nervously.
"Go get dressed then. Don't be nervous." She called after me, sensing I was nervous. That was an understatement; I was petrified.

I wore a white t-shirt and black skinny jeans and black sparkly converse with a black hooded jacket. Hannah wore a light green stretchy top with long sleeves and a cream scarf and light blue skinny jeans.

Hannah's PoV
We climbed into Mika's car and he drove excruciatingly slowly to the hospital, clearly wanting to put it off. We drove around the same dismal car park several times looking for a space. We walked along the same bland, endless corridors as before. We came to the same room- with the same bleeping machines, all bleeping at different times in different pitches just as before. Paloma looked just as bad as before; the same dark rings under her eyes and the same pale, ghost like skin. The same weak smile. It faded as before as she saw Mika.

"Hi Hannah!... Mika." She started cheerily then turned cold when she said Mika's name.
"Hi." I smiled kindly.
"H-hi Paloma." Mika stammered nervously still standing in the doorway.
"So you came back, did Hannah drag you here?" She asked bitterly.
"No I didn't." I protested, standing up for Mika.
"Mm. Well at least you did come back. After you dragged Hannah out to America and forced her to cut us all off." She spat harshly.
"I-I didn't force her." Mika stuttered pathetically.
"Really? So you didn't blackmail her into going and to cut us all off? Didn't keep her in a foreign country that she'd never been to? Didn't make her feel alone and isolated? And you didn't just leave us all here worrying about you both? You just kept Hannah cooped up in a room this size like a prisoner. All because poor little Mika couldn't handle real life." She said incredibly harshly. Mika stood there shell shocked, mouth hanging slightly ajar. I was too.
"That's not what I said." I whispered, barely audible.
"I-I'm sorry." He said quietly, voice breaking slightly.
"Good. You should be. Coward." She spat again.

Then Mika left. Quickly and swiftly. He was gone. I could see his watery eyes as he left. I stared at Paloma in shock and went to follow Mika.
"Hannah-"
"Paloma that was mean. He's truly sorry. He was frightened that you might die and couldn't just watch it." I said, voice shaking slightly. "I'm gonna see if he's alright. I'll see you later."

I ran down the stairs and to the carpark and saw him starting the cars engine and zooming off straight past me. Oh. I ran down to the busy road and after an age of waiting caught a taxi.

The man in the front was bald and quite old- late fifties- and was very friendly. He had a very strong London accent.
"Nah, there ain't many buses 'round 'ere mate." He said cheerily. "That's why I get my taxi out 'ere. No buses."
"I wasn't planning on getting a taxi." I said quietly.
"Oh. What changed ya mind?" He asked curiously.
"Got stranded." I said quickly.
"Ah. Who left ya there?"
"My boyfriend. He got a bit upset."
"Bad news, eh?"
"Let's just say that she wasn't best pleased to see him."
"Poor guy. Well, 'ere we are. I hope he's alright. Have a nice day mate." He said as I began to get out the taxi.
"Thank you." I replied as I paid him, leaving a generous tip.

I walked into the flat and saw that he'd come home as Mel was chewing on his keys. I quickly bribed Mel with a dog biscuit to get the keys back and looked for Mika.
"Mika? Where are you?" I called. No response.

I walked through all the rooms, even outside in the small, but colourful garden. I went into the bedroom and then tried to go into the bathroom.
Knock. Knock.
"Mika? Please let me in." I said softly.
"N-no." He replied sniffling.
"Please. Mika." I asked sadly.
The door clicked open and Mika came out.

His eyes were red and his hair had flopped and looked sad. He slumped over and looked totally regretful. I wrapped my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waists she picked me up and place me on the bed. I sat on his lap with my arms around his waist now and head leaning against his chest. I drew circles in his back as he rested his chin on my head and kissed it every now and then.

"I promise I never said that. I don't resent you for making me go out there. In fact, you didn't make me I wanted to go to be with you. Mika I went because I love you and I care so please don't feel bad. Please." I tried to comfort him.
"I love you too Hannah." He replied softly.
"And Paloma will understand. She'll be fine. She loves you too and is just tired. She's gone through a lot. Everything is going to be okay." I continued.

Then he kissed me. On the lips. For the first time in a month. It felt different. It felt sad. Sorrowful. But it was a step in the right direction. To the one thing I crave more than anything else; normality.

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Hello!
It's half term so I might update more! I'd love some ideas though. I'm a bit stuck- too many exams.

Comment vote and any suggestions are much appreciated.
HP- x