Man in the Rain

Chapter 69

Chapter 69

"Aalis na po ako Nana. Kayo na po muna ang bahala kay Hope. Basta kapag nagkaroon ng problema ay tawagan niyo po ako agad." saad ko kay Nana Amor.

She looked at me intently. "Sigurado ka bang ayos ka lang, hija? Maputla ka."

I tried to force a smile. "Hindi lang po ako masyadong nakatulog kagabi," I told her.

Kahapon, nang malaman ko na talagang buntis ako, I didn't know exactly how to feel. I was happy, yes. Knowing that there's another life inside me, that there's another heart beating in tuned with mine made me feel blessed and thrilled.

But given the circumstances of having a fragile heart, I couldn't help but feel frightened, too. Natatakot ako hindi lang para sa sarili ko kundi mas lalo na sa magiging baby ko.

Ngayon, kailangan ko munang iwan si Hope kay Nana Amor. Siya muna ang bahalang maghatid at magbantay kay Hope sa playschool dahil magpapa-check up ako. I managed to get an appointment with the same ob-gyn who took care of me when I was still pregnant with Hope.

Totoo ang sinabi ko kay Nana Amor na hindi ako nakatulog kagabi. I was just tossing and turning all night.  Ang hindi niya alam ay ang dahilan kung bakit ako aalis ngayon. I didn't tell her that I was going to see a doctor. Ang sabi ko lang sa kanya ay may importante akong aasikasuhin.

Wala pa akong kahit sino na pinagsasabihan ng kondisyon ko. I don't know how long I'm gonna keep to myself.

****

"Blaire Roshan Avila," the nurse announced my name. Inayos ko ang bag sa balikat ko at agad na tumayo. "Dra. Zamora will see you now."

Pagpasok ko sa isang maliit at kulay luting silid, I instantly saw  Dra. Zamora sitting behind her table.

"Shan," she smiled kindly as soon as her eyes landed on me. I knew that she recognized me. "Please sit down." She gestured her hand to the vacant chair in front of her table.

"Naalala niyo pa ako, doktora?" I couldn't help but ask after I sat down.

"Of course. I don't easily forget my patients especially those with special case. At syempre pa, paano ko makakalimutan yung baby mo at ang magandang pares ng mga mata niya? How is she now, by the way?"

Napangiti di ako."She's fine, doctora. A beautiful and bright little thing," I said. May bahid ng pagmamalaki sa boses ko.

"That's good to hear." Tumango-tango siya. "So, ano ang ikokonsulta namin ngayong araw?"

Automatikong nabura ang ngiti ko. Ang takot at kabang pandaliang nawala ay bumalik. "D-doctora..." Ilang beses akong lumunok bago ko ulit binuksan ang bibig ko. "I'm pregnant."

Dra. Zamora's kind smile disappeared. "Are you sure?"

Hindi ko magawang tumango. "I bought a PT kit yesterday. Positive ang naging resulta."

Her expression's now serious. Yumuko siya at binuksan ang isang drawer. After a beat she handed me a small box. A pregnancy test kit. "Ulitin mo. Just to make sure," saad niya sa akin. "Nurse!"

Wala pang sampung segundo ay pumasok ang nurse sa silid.  "Doctora?"

"Pakisamahan si Ms. Avila sa banyo." She said and then she turned her head to me again again. I suppose you already know how to use the kit?"

I nodded. "Yes, doctora."

"The restroom is just  outside my office," she said.

When I reenter Dra. Zamora's office, I wordlessly handed the kit back to her.