Man in the Rain

Chapter 37

Chapter 37

Hope

After that night, I started to lose everything.

Umalis ako papunta ng Beijing to be with my father but I left my heart in the Philippines. Ni hindi ko man lang nakausap si Luke bago ako umalis. Naging madalian ang pag-alis ko and I wasn't in the right state of mind to even think of the things that I should do before I left. Everything that was happening back then was too much for me.

When I arrived in Beijing, dumiretso agad ako sa ospital kung saan naroroon si Daddy. My already broken heart broke again when I saw my father's afflicted condition.

Umalis siya nang bahay na malakas at masaya. He even gave me a big hug and he waved goodbye with a smile on his face tapos ng sunod ko siyang makita, hindi ko na siya makaausap at ayaw na niyang magising.

He looked so helpless, lying on the hospital bed. Maraming apparatus ang nakatagay sa katawan niya. There was a tube in his mouth because he couldn't breath on his own. His head, his chest, his left leg and left arms were wrapped with bandages. Bukod pa doon, marami rin siyang mga pasa at galos sa buong katawan.

Ang sabi sa akin ng business partner ni Daddy na kasama niyang pumunta ng Beijing, they were on their way to a business meeting nang salpukin ng isang ten wheeler truck ang kotse na sinasakyan ni Daddy. Sa lakas ng impact ay ilang beses pang nagpaikot-ikot ang kotse niya sa daan.

An ambulance immediately arrived at mabilis na naisugod sa ospital si Daddy pero sobrang lala ng mga tinamo niyang injury lalo na sa ulo. The doctor told me that he was unstable and he was in deep coma. Hindi ito sigurado kung kailan magigising si Daddy o kung magigising pa ba ito.

I spent my first week in Beijing crying. Halos mawala ako sa sarili ko. When I somehow recovered ay saka ko palang nagawang tumawag sa Pilipinas. Sinubukan kong kontakin sina Laura at Celine through e-mail and through other social media flatforms but I didn't receive any answer. I lost my cellphone at hindi ko kabisado ang mga numbers nila. Tumawag din ako sa bahay para tanungin kung may mga naghahanap sa akin but the househelp told me that no one looked for me. I totally lost contact to everyone I know in the Philippines.

Habang nakaospital si Daddy, nakilala ko si Ninong Rufino at si Ninang Soledad. They rushed to Beijing as soon as they heard what happened to my father. Ninong Rufino was Dad's bestfriend. He and his wife was based in Baguio kaya hindi ko sila kilala. Ang sabi ni Ninong Rufino ay huling beses niya akong makita ay tatlong taong gulang palang ako. He said that he and Daddy got busy with their own businesses but they never lost contact through the years. The couple stayed with me for few days. Sinamahan nila ako at tinulungan. Ang mga kwento ni Ninong Rufino tungkol sa mga kalokohan nila ni Daddy noong kabataan nila ang kahit papaano ay nagpagaan sa kalooban ko. But they had to leave, may emergency daw sa business. Pero bago sila umalis ay nagbilin sila na kung kailangan ko ng anumang tulong ay huwag akong magdalawang isip na tawagan sila.

After one month and three days, nangyari ang pinaka kinatatakutan ko, Daddy lost his battle. He died. He died na hindi man lang siya nagising. He died na hindi ko man lang siya nakakausap. The only consolotion was namatay siya habang hawak ko ang kamay niya.

Sobrang sakit noon. Akala ko talaga ay mababaliw na ako. Akala ko, I was already a big girl at kaya ko na ang mundo. But when I lost my Dad, saka ko lang narealize na isang batang musmos pa pala ako. Isang batang musmos na mag-isa na lang sa buhay.

I went back to the Philippines with Dad's ashes. I opted to have him cremated immediately. Hindi rin ako nag-organize ng kahit anong eulogy or whatever to celebrate the life that he had. Pumunta lang ako sa simbahan pagkatapos ay pinabasbasan ko siya. Nagmaneho ako papunta sa isang beach. I hired a boat para dalhin ako papunta sa gitna ng dagat at habang palubog ang araw, isinaboy ko ang mga abo ni Daddy.