Man in the Rain

Chapter 54

Chapter 54

Boyfriend

Kinagat ko ng mariin ang labi ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang dapat kong isagot. My mind was reeling with doubts and fears. I could hear that familiar voice inside my head and it was screaming  'No!' again and again. But my heart...my heart was begging for me to say yes.

I looked at Luke. He's the only man that I loved and even though we fell apart and years passed, he remained in my heart. And he is the father of my child.

If I say yes, hindi na magiging lihim si Hope. Sooner or later, I have to tell him about our daughter.

Si Hope... Kung sakali ay baka pwede ng maibigay  ko na ang gusto ng anak ko. She will finally meet her father. Masusundo na siya ni Luke sa playschool at hindi na siya maiingit sa mga kaklase at kaibigan niya. Hindi na imposible na magkaroon siya ng buong pamilya. May mainit na humaplos sa puso ko when I saw an image of Luke carrying Hope in his arms.

But Luke  was  also the same man who abandoned me. He was the same man who hurt me over and over again. If I say yes, I may never make it out alive.

"I'm scared..." Wala sa loob kong sabi. The words just came out of my mouth.

I saw Luke nod. "I know, love. I understand," Inilapit niya ang mukha niya sa akin at pinagdikit niya ang noo naming dalawa. "If you give me a chance... kung tatanggapin mo ulit ako sa buhay mo at magiging parte ka ulit ng akin,  I can never promise that there will be no more pain. I can not promise that every minute of every hour, we will gonna be happy.  All I could promise you is me... I know that I f*ck up a lot but I  will try my best not to. I will try my hardest to be a better man. For you.  Just don't walk out of that f*cking door. Stay in my life, Blaire."

Ipinikit ko sandali ang mata ko. I muttered a little prayer to God.

At nang magmulat ako ulit ay may handa na akong isagot sa kanya. Inilagay ko ang dalawa kong palad sa dibdib niya pagkatapos ay marahan ko siyang itinulak para magkaroon ng espasyo sa pagitan namin.

Hindi ako sigurado kung ito ang tama. May pag-aalinlangan at takot pa rin akong nararamdaman, sa palagay ko ay hindi ito mawawala agad. Pero gagawin ko ito hindi lang para sa sarili ko kundi para na rin kay Hope.

I looked at Luke once again. I could see nothing in his face but apprehension.

Huminga muna ako ng malalim bago ko binuksan ang bibig ko.  "Yes... Yes, Luke." My voice came out as a whisper.

Sa una ay hindi ako sigurado kung narinig niya ba ako. But  when the apprehension  disappeared and it was replaced with a slight twinkle on the eyes, that was when I knew that he heard me.

For a long while, he just stared at me with such tenderness. It was as if he was memorizing every details ofy face.

Nang kumilos siya ay ikinulong niya ang ulit ang mukha ko sa kanyang mga palad. He smiled at me. "Thank you," he quietly said before his face inched forward for a slow and tender kiss.

****

"Really, Luke. I'm fine in my apartment." I said.

"We've already discussed this, didn't we? And you already agreed that you'll move in the condo." He muttered. Saglit niya akong sinulyapan bago niya binalik ang atensyon niya sa kalsada.

Luke and I were in his car. Nagmamaneho siya papunta sa apartment ko para kausapin ang landlady at kunin ang mga gamit ko.

Napanguso ako. After a hell lot of persuading, nagawa niya akong kumbinsihin na lumipat sa condo niya.