A New World #Wattys2016

Chaper 18

I have been in the hospital for two months.

The nurses have been trying to fix me, trying to help me. Both my physical and mental state.

The crash and Zach leaving me has made me depressed and angry. I continue to scream, and scream. Sometimes I break things. I even tried killing myself with pills, but the nurses saved me.

"Stop!" I scream between sobs. "I just want to die!"

"We're not going to let that happen, honey." Mari says with compassion.

The nurses don't let me leave. I am still not better. I have tons of broken bones, blood loss, all kinds of things I can't even understand.

I just want to go home.

But I have no home now.

I lay on the bed, crying by myself in the dark. Nurses don't bother to stay long in the rooms anymore, they have grown tired of me. The only one who ever seems to actually care about me is Mari, and she still has a life other than me.

If you stay at he hospital for a certain amount of time, they move you to the special section. They are basically like rooms, with better beds, a bigger tv, closets to put in your belongings, things like that. That's so the people who basically have to live here don't have to sit in a hospital room all the time. It gives you a little privacy, and it lets you feel a little like you are home.

It's a pretty high quality hospital.

I still don't know who pays for my treatments, though.

Not like anything is working. Mari said I probably won't make it. She felt really bad saying it, but I didn't mind anymore. What's the point, anyway?

********************************

I sit on my bed, watching Mari place my breakfast on my tray, on top of my laying body. I never get up, hardly. If I were to make it out of here, it would take forever to get back in shape.

"Here you go, sweetie. Your favorite." Mari says kindly.

Every Monday Mari brings in homemade pancakes. She says she makes a whole batch of them Saturday morning for her two kids to eat, and then they eat some Sunday. She takes in the extras for me. It's really kind of her, actually. Sometimes, Mari feels like a sorta kinda mother.

"Thanks, Mari."

I take a bite of the pancakes. Yum, she made blueberry this time.

"I brought you something else, too." Mari starts. "To get you through the week in this boring hospital."

Mari hands me a book.

"Thank you again, Mari."

Every Friday afternoon, Mari takes my library book she gave me Monday back to the library and gives me a new one the next Monday. It's the only thing that continues to let me grasp onto that little sliver of sanity I have left. Reading. If I had to watch tv all my life, I don't know what I would do.

"Your welcome sweetie, I just wish I could make you happier."

"But, you already do. I don't know what I would do without you, Mari."

"Oh, honey," Mari leans down and kisses me on the forehead.

That was the first time she has ever done that. And if hasn't been a while since anyone kissed me.

And that motherly kiss seemed better than all the times that Zach kissed me.

Mari gives me a wave and walks out of the room. I know it's selfish, but I wish that Mari didn't have off on the weekends, so I could see her everyday. But she deserves her life, too. Just because I lost mine doesn't mean she has to lose hers.

What I do after Mari leaves is read my book until another nurse comes in to feed me lunch. One of the nurses that don't care. She doesn't say a word to me as she walks out.

I read some more, and then Mari comes to give me dinner and then goes home.

Usually after dinner I would watch tv a little bit. Sometimes I want to just get up and exercise. But they never let you get exercise. You are allowed to get up to go to the bathroom and stuff like that, but they won't let you run around and stuff. That really annoys me, because that probably makes people less heathy.

***

The next day, I decide to ask Mari if I could get up and run around a little bit. She might let me.

"Hello, Mari."

"Hi Alex, how are you doing?"

"Just dandy." I reply, in a sarcastic manner.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

Mari gives me a sympathetic look. "If course, honey."

"Can I go outside, or run around, or something? I really want to get some exercise."

Mari looks surprised. "No patent has ever asked me that before."

I give her puppy eyes.

"And, no offense, but you are in pretty bad shape."

I give her an annoyed look. "That's what I mean! If you let me get some fresh air and exercise, maybe I'll get better!"

"I don't know..."

"Pleeeeease."

"I'll ask later, ok."

"Yay!" I shake around in the bed, excited.

"I'll see you later."

"Bye."

I watch as Mari walks out of the room. I try to wait patiently until she comes back to tell me.

***

I wake up the next morning, aggravated. Mari didn't come to see me last night, where is she?

A different nurse comes to serve me breakfast. I stare at her, confused.

"What are you staring at me for?" She asks, rudely.

"Where's Mari?" I ask.

The nurse squints her eyes at me. "Ohh.. That one nurse. She got in an... Accident."

"What?"

"She was just driving on the road, on her way to the hospital for work, probably. I was told that a drunk driver crashed her."

Tears start streaming down my face. "That can't be true!"

"Well, I'm sorry." The nurse says, starting to have concern for me. She walks out of the room.

Everything I have loved had now been taken away from me.