Lost (A Austin Mahone Fanfiction) * ON HOLD*

Lost-Chapter Thirty-Two

Lost-Chapter 32

"Maymay, time to get up." I groaned rolling over as I heard Alyssa's light footsteps fade down the hallway, after laying there for a while I threw the covers off of me and sat up making my way to the kitchen where Alyssa was pouring batter into a the pan. I leaned against the door frame, closing my eyes. "So how late were you up?"

"I ended up staying up till 11:00." I sighed standing straight, "I'm gonna go get dressed." I didn't catch her response and twirled to "my" room. I looked questioningly at my wardrobe before flopping back onto my bed, wondering what Austin was doing. I looked to my left and saw my phone sitting on the nightstand, crawling over I grabbed it and dialed his number. I was about to hang up when he answered,

"Hello?" His voice was deep and groggy and I knew I had woken him up.

"Hey Austin, it's me. I'm sorry I woke you I'll just call back later-"

"No! It's fine, I should have been up by now anyways....how are you?"

"I'm good actually! I managed to get started on both of my projects and sleep last night." I smiled not realizing how much I had missed him until right then.

"That's good! I'm proud of you...." I heard him sigh softly,

"Austin, you should go back to sleep." I said standing up.

"I'm fine, Mayamay." My heart swelled hearing him say my nickname.

"I just don't want you to be tired later. Ya know when you're with the fans.." As wrong as it was, I couldn't help but be jealous of all the girls that would get to see and touch Austin today. I would give anything just to be able to kiss him..

"Don't get jealous, Maymay. You know I love you and only you."

"Yeah, I know. But your fans...have you seen them? They're all so pretty-"

"Stop. My fans, yes they are all beautiful, but I only have eyes for you. Why haven't you figured that out by now, princess?"

"It's kinda hard to believe that after seeing you with that blonde chick at the radio station." I snapped bitterly, wishing I could take back the words as soon as they passed my lips. "Wait, no-Austin-"

"It's okay. I deserved that."

"No! I shouldn't have brought it up-"

"LaMaya breakfast is ready-and you're still not dressed." I looked to my left and saw Alyssa standing there with her eyebrows raised,

"Tell Alyssa I said hi." Austin said to me, I relayed the message and she smirked knowingly saying a polite hello back. For a while Austin and I sat there in silence when he cleared his throat. "Alright, next time I have to go somewhere, you're coming with me. I can't handle you not being here. I can't hold your hand, or see you smile, or hear you laugh, or taste your chapstick, and gosh you smell so nice- I'm going crazy without you." I had butterflies in my stomach, as I folded my legs under me sitting down, once again on my bed.

"I just don't want to argue with you, but when you're not here I get so paranoid and lonely. I mean I have Alyssa, but I can't really ask Alyssa to come cuddle with me while I'm reading a book." I confessed to him whole heartedly, feeling a bit better.

"I'm in the same boat, and you're going to my old school. Please, whatever you do, do not get involved with any guys."

"That's kinda hard to do.." I trailed chuckling at him,

"LaMaya I'm serious." He said and I ceased my laughter,

"Alright. I have one project that I'm working on with a guy right now and after that no more guys."

"You promise?"

"I swear it!" I said holding up my hand, even though he couldn't see me. "When are you coming back?" I asked softly,

"Uhh...friday?" He said and I could basically see him running his fingers through his hair.

"You don't sound too sure about that." I muttered tucking my knees into my chest, he sighed again.

"I'm sorry, but they've got my schedule so mixed up-"

"You know what? Don't worry about it. I have to get ready for school, I'll talk to you later Austin." I hung up the phone. With out telling him I loved him. I felt guilty, but then again I didn't. I wandered to my closet and browsed my clothing selection, before getting dressed. I shouldn't be mad at him, I mean it's not like he can control his schedule, but then again....I don't know. I missed him and knowing that he might be gone longer than Friday just might kill me on the inside. I have never been so attached to another human being in my life and I didn't know how to react. I was scared.

"You alright? You haven't touched your breakfast," Alyssa said motioning to my still full plate with her fork, I shook my head pushing my plate away from me.

"Not hungry." I slid my chair from the table and went to the living room grabbing my book bag and ear buds before walking outside. I put my music on shuffle and set off down the street to the all-too-ironic beat of Mess I Made by Parachute. I stood on the corner with my eyes closed leaning up against the stop sign when Alyssa tugged on the sleeve of my jacket, I opened my eyes and saw the bus was waiting. The entire day passed in a blur and I constantly checked my phone wishing Austin would text me, but of course he didn't. Too busy with the fans I guess. My throat began to itch and I quickly pulled out my homework, diving in before I could become absorbed in my own thoughts.

"Dinner?" Alyssa said softly from the doorway of her brother's room, I looked up at her shaking my head slightly. She opened her mouth to speak to me before pressing her lips together and walking away. I contemplated going after her and venting, then decided it would be better to wait until I was in a better state of mind. When I was finished I saw that it was only 10:00 I checked my phone and my heart nearly leaped out of my chest when I saw a text from Austin, then my body filled with fear-what if he was upset with me? There's only one way to find out.

Austin: I. Love. You.

I grinned so big I'm surprised my face didn't break, I immediately called him and he answered on the third ring.

"I love you too." I gushed before he could say anything, he laughed shortly.

"I'm getting them to change my schedule so that I can come back as soon as possible."

"Yeah about this morning-"

"Don't worry about it princess, it's okay." I began to protest then decided it was better not to in case I was to lose it again. "Well you need to get some sleep, or else you will be useless tomorrow." I giggled knowing this was true.

"Fine, fine. Goodnight Austin," I breathed quietly

"Night baby." He hung up and I squealed with joy, before falling backwards onto my bed. I cut off my lamp, crawling under the covers, thankful I had bummed it to school that day. I sighed, the main reason I was scared today was because the last time I had felt this down was what I was feeling right before my depression hit. There was nothing that freaked me out more than knowing that I might be heading back down that path, the last time it happened I lost everything close to me. I shivered and snuggled deeper in my sheets, remembering the feeling of the blades across my skin. I fell asleep lost in a pool of blood and screams and misery.