Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Two

No you don't know what it's like.... Welcome to my life.

The melody of Simple plan

blasted out the speaker of my phone. I thought that if the music was loud enough it would be able to block out the voices in my head. Well I thought wrong.

My eyes were focused on the ceiling, no life was found in them. Only deadness and the numbness I've become so used to. Never once did I blink staring up at the ceiling. Nothing else was worth looking at, nothing mattered.

"Joyce?" Someone called out, the only thing I had left really. Quickly I sat up looking at the boy who caused my life hell, yet has helped me so much.

"Josh." My voice was lifeless, and hollow. I was glad to see him. But I wanted to hold onto my anger long enough to get what he deserves after three years of hell.

Still, I was anything close to happy to see him. After three years you can really start to miss a person.

When I turned the music louder a sad look came across Josh's face. It was never his extension to hurt his little sister, I'm sure. His plan was probably to help me see good in myself, to show me that I am worth something. Oh how his plans failed.

You see, things don't go exactly as planned. Never once had I planned myself in this state. I planned myself to live a happy life, go to a good college. Live a perfect life. I was naive back then, young me had no clue what the future had in store.

Of course I still attended an online college, but still not what I had planned. By now I wouldn't be attending a real life college. For I missed out on the real world for too long.

"Joyce, please look at me," Josh begged standing at the end of my bed with pleading eyes.

But by now I already had my head-phones in, too consumed in my music to hear a thing. Even if I knew he was there, standing in front of me.

~:JOSH'S POV:~

I sighed to myself walking back to my room throwing my bags on the ground, wondering where I went wrong. Of course I realized that I encouraged for my little sister to be sent away for three years, but I only wanted to help her. I couldn't be there for her because I was living my dreams. I couldn't help that I became successful though, I couldn't help but feel guilty. Maybe there was something I could of done to prevent Joyce from feeling so depressed.

_____

~:JOYCE'S POV:~

There was a knock on the door and noise in the hall which I heard. I wasn't getting up to get the door and neither was Josh.

I figured the person would just leave since none of us were going to get up. I think I heard footsteps but I couldn't really be sure.

"Josh!" A boy called and several footsteps followed.

I sat up and took my headphones out, hearing the stranger. There was a baseball bat in the corner of my room, for whenever I was left alone because Josh was out drumming for gigs. Basically for emergencies.

Carefully, I picked it up stalking out the door. Someone was outside my door so I hit them as hard as I could. The person groaned and collapsed on the ground clutching his stomach. I was about to strike again but Josh stopped me.

"Oh my god Joyce, what the hell did you do?!" Josh yelled looking at the person on the ground.

"Harry are you okay mate?" A boy with shaggy-ish hair asked crouching down next to him.

Then I realized that it was no intruder at all, just a member of the band Josh drums for. One Direction, oh no.

"Oh my god... I'm so sorry! I thought you were a murderer!" I gushed crouching next to the male, Harry.

Harry looked up at me. "I'm fine love, just a little bruised is all." Harry sat up facing me.

I pulled a small apologetic smile and helped him get up.

"Are you Josh's girlfriend?" Harry asked raising an eyebrow.

My face instantly fell and by now all of the boys are surrounding us. I looked at Josh with sad eyes and gulped.

"No. I'm his sister." I looked down and the boys started to whisper.

I should of known I wasn't important enough to be mentioned. All I was was baggage, a burden. I should of seen it sooner or later, before I got hurt.

Tears welled up in my eyes. The pain I so desperately tried to hide came crawling back.

Finally, I looked up meeting the beautiful green eyes filled with confusion and worry.

"I'm going to go for a walk." I glanced at Josh with glossy eyes shaking my head with disappointment.

"Joyce..." Josh tried to explain but I was too quick.

"Don't," I whispered, picking up my hoodie, slipping on my shoes and walking out the door into the hallway.

I slipped on the hoodie and sat on the steps. Our flat was a few floors up so everyday I used to have to take the stairs. Of course there was an elevator but I felt if I took the stairs everyday I would lose weight.

"Joyce..?" A voice called, but I didn't care who. I sat still on the steps, shielding my face from the world.

"Joyce?" He called again. This time I felt his presence next to me.

He groaned out in pain because of the injuries I had caused accidentally. I turned my head to face Harry, only to see him clutching his stomach.

"You know, I am sorry about hitting you with a baseball bat." I pulled a small grin, almost finding it humorous how I bruised a popstar.

"Sorry I was in the way of your bat," Harry joked trying to lighten the mood, earning a small laugh from me.

"Look, I'm sorry for asking that back there. I didn't know Josh had a sister," Harry apologized with sincerity.

"It's not your fault. I can understand why Josh doesn't talk about me," I said quietly looking down at my hands.

"Why is that?" He asked. I know he was just curious but I didn't want to answer a stranger.

Don't talk to him

Everyone ends up leaving you.

He doesn't really care.

The voices wouldn't stop so I quickly rose to my feet.

"I'm going for a walk," I rushed and headed down stairs leaving Harry at the top of the steps, confused.

"Can I come?"

I looked back at the boy debating whether to let him come. It was late outside after all, I shouldn't be walking alone at night. But then again, when do I ever care about my safety?

Fighting the battles in my head, I sighed and nodded.