Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Twenty Six

~:Chapter Twenty Six:~

Everything felt like it was finally coming together. Harry and I are finally together. The hole in my chest is slowly mending, I don't feel as damaged.

It's only been a week since Harry and I started dating. Since he said, "be mine?" And I replied with a, "I'm yours". Typical fairytale, right? With the happily ever after ending? But this wasn't a fairytale, no something was bound to go wrong, and I could feel it.

It was obvious because eventually all happiness disappears like dust in my hands. The paranoia was eating away at my brain. The feeling of waiting was terrible, barely bearable.

Thats the problem with me, if something good finally happens to me I can't just accept it, no. I have to ruin it by predicting the negativities that will come parading down. It was so unfamiliar not carrying the baggage of sorrow on my back.

Aside from that, my mother still wants to see me. She doesn't know about Harry, and I don't want him meeting her and then have to deal with the shameful look on her face. I don't know if I can handle it nonetheless.

But being the stupid girl that I am, I made a stupid decision, going to see my parents.

I haven't heard much from my dad at all. I didn't expect much from him anyways, not since he spoke those words that fateful day three years ago. It will almost be four years ago.

Even though I told him it wasn't a big deal, Harry invited himself to come with me on the trip to meet my parents. I'm not too sure about Josh, I think it's best if he stays home and watches the flat or something.

I still haven't gotten a new phone. The old one bears too many memories for me to throw away, and I think I'm able to retrieve the pictures and other memories if I take the memory card out. I just don't know where to go from there.

"Joyce, Do you have everything for the trip?" Harry asks strolling into my room. He also invited himself over mine and Josh's flat even though I didn't mind.

I roll my eyes. "Harry, its like a three hour stay, we aren't sleeping over."

I sure hope not.

I'm not sure I'd survive.

Harry nods understandably. "Okay, I'm just checking."

For no reason he smiles at me and I can't help but to do the same. "You know," I randomly say. "I used to have a dog, his name was fudge." I honestly don't know why I'm telling this to Harry.

Harry looks interested but I can't go further because the voices in my head tell me to stop talking, that I'm just a bother and no one cares. I stay silent.

His attention is on me, he knows me too well.

~:Harrys POV:~

The look on her face says it all. She's hurting, or something's bothering her and she won't say. I can tell by the way her features change, her face drops and lips quiver ever so slightly. She focuses on something in the room and moves her head insignificantly. Her eyes flicker to a sadder shade of grey, and I remember her eyes being the slightest shade of blue. The same thing happened a week ago when I came over and she told me we couldn't be friends. She just stood there until I was forced to leave.

I went through the same thing believe it or not, or something similar. It was never this bad to the point where I wanted to end it, but the voices were heard. Oh how they were heard.

That's what it is! Joyce is dealing with unknown battles in her head and I can see it in her eyes. The storm raging inside those grey eyes is acceptable. Am I doing this to her? Am I hurting her?