Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Seven

~:Chapter Seven:~

I didn't know how long I could keep this facade going. But now, I felt like I didn't have to, because I was alone. Free to do whatever I please in this empty flat. Although, Harry would be checking up on me, hopefully not on a daily basis.

But what changed? I'd grown so accustomed not to show my true, dark self. What was I supposed to act like now? I felt empty, no purpose at all. I didn't have to fulfill the happy act, I didn't have to build up my walls. Simply because no one was here. And maybe that's what frightened me the most.

People might choose to feel pain, than not to feel at all, not me. I'd choose numbness over the aching pain any day. Why feel the deep ache in your chest, when you can just feel numb? No cares at all, no fears, like the world around you doesn't matter. Like nothing matters.

Now, I was sitting on my bed working on my poetry. I've tried to come up with something raw, something new. But every thought led back to darkness and pain. So I went through with another approach:

I wandered through the empty streets.

In search of the true meaning of beauty.

I set along the path,

The world around me felt cold as I searched.

The crisp frost crunched under neath my feet.

I saw kids happy and smiling, how could they be so happy when the world around them is so cold?

The gentle hand reached out toward me,

I felt warmth radiating off of the skin.

Then I'd come to realize

That the world wasn't cold after all,

I was.

The poem stopped there, it wasn't like anything I have done before. In fact, the poem itself felt so foreign that I felt like I didn't appreciate it. I started over:

Little girl, why can't you see?

That you weren't meant to be

Little girl, so ugly and sad

Stop trying, your odds are bad.

Little girl, what happened to you?

What people say, you think is true?

Little girl, smile so pained

Why don't you stop, playing this game?

Little girl, is it true?

Has it gotten the best of you?

Little girl, don't be shy

Why are you scared to die?

Little girl, where did you go

What happened to the one we used to know?

Little girl, you're going insane

Putting yourself through all this pain.

Little girl, you will be missed

But now your time has been dismissed.

Better. I thought to myself, although it carried out a little long. Something about the repetition that made it more catchy. I had a thing for rhyming too.

Harry had already saw one of my poems, which I panicked about when he read it. But I was able to act so nonchalant about it, and to my success, he bought it. Next time, I needed to be more careful.