Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Eight

~:Chapter Eight:-~

You hear that? It's the world laughing at you.

After hours of non stop crying,

it soon ended. Suddenly, and unexpectedly. As if I ran out of anymore tears to shed. But no, that wasn't it, the pain washed over, now all I felt was empty. Numb.

That's all I could feel, in the end. Empty or saddened, maybe it was time for me to get used to it.

No, I didn't call Harry, nor would I anytime soon. My pain was beyond Harry's help.

Not even the soothing voice of Ed Sheeran could make me feel any better. Not the sounds of Lana Del Rey, or anymore depressing artists that I adored. The song small bump flowed through the wires of my head phones, into my hearing.

I was very sick as a baby, many years of sickness and problems. In fact, I wasn't supposed to live anyway. My mom even told me I was a mistake. Maybe not that bluntly, but the words were said.

The numbness wouldn't last long, the pain soon returned, back for another strike to my chest. My heart ached with every saddened beat. No sad songs would cheer me up, as odd as it sounds, they usually helped.

I turned my head to take a glimpse of the yellow note on my bedside table. Could Harry really help in a situation like this?

In my weak state I couldn't bring myself to call Harry. I didn't want to be a burden, left over baggage. He couldn't fix my already broken pieces. I tried blocking out the pain, but like said in The Fault In Our Stars; pain is meant to be felt.

I thought of distracting the aching in some other way than seeing Harry. Maybe I could stop by chapters, to get the book I thought of getting for a bit, but I just got out of the Institution not long ago.

The first book I thought of getting was Still Alice, a book about a girl with a memory disorder, and she knows it's coming, and if it got bad enough, she would resolve to killing herself. But that wouldn't distract me at all. The other book, called Cut, I wanted badly also. It is about a 15 year old girl who cuts herself, but obviously that wouldn't help either.

The last option would be City Of Lost Souls, by Cassandra Clare. But still I had yet to finish the last fifty pages of the previous book. So now, reading wasn't really a choice.

Sleep. Whenever I was sad, or too mentally weak for dealing with the cruel world of reality, I resolved by sleeping. But then again, the nightmares will come slithering back, and I didn't want that.

I had no way out of the excruciating pain. Except for one...

No, I told myself. I couldn't get back into those self destructive thoughts. I wouldn't. Every which way there depression was, looking me straight in the eye.

The last choice was clear, I picked up the phone and dialed the number I hoped I wouldn't call anytime soon.

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Ooh who doesn't love cliff hangers..

Who do you think she called?

It could be anyone. But I might be thinking what you're thinking. 😏

But honestly the books mentioned in this chapter I really want. You should check them out!

Btw sorry for such a short disappointing chapter ;(

Well, feel free to Vote, Comment, and Follow me. But I'm not forcing anyone.

Stay strong beauts, ily all.

~:Grace:~