Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Eighteen

~:Chapter Eighteen:~

Harry looked at me with a disapproving expression. Like I was some pathetic person, which I guess I was.

"Joyce, when are you going to realize that I can't keep pretending that I care about you? When will you realize that you're completely alone?" Harry shook his head.

My breathing supply was short, I was surviving on shallow wheezy breaths. He was right, by this point I was all alone.

The truth hurt so much. But the loss hurt even more.

"Goodbye Joyce."

I shuddered out of the horrifying nightmare, glad it was only a terrible dream. Yet it was so vivid, I could feel the pain in my chest, and the honesty in Harry's words.

A puddle of tears was on my pillow, I didn't realize I was crying. I quickly wipe my wet eyes, Josh could barge in and I'm not ready to give an explanation.

I held the necklace Harry gave me the day we went to the arcade. Staring down at it with a sad expression. When he was here yesterday I saw he was still wearing the chain I gave him that fateful arcade day.

I sighed, and turned on my phone. Story of my life blared through my headphones and my heart was beating oddly hearing Harrys voice.

The story of my life I give her hope. I spend the love until she's broke inside.

I couldn't last through the whole song, I had to skip the song otherwise my chest might of collapsed.

My phone vibrated and startled me, making me jump. My heart started beating fast, it could be Harry. Maybe he texted me saying he didn't give up on me, that he would give me another chance. That'd he'd be there no matter what. Or it could be my mum.

My mum-

I had totally forgotten that the visit to my parents was today. Harry was supposed to go with me, but not anymore. Now I was to face them alone. Though I could get Josh to come with me, but I wouldn't want to burden him. I guess it was a sign to go alone anyway.

Maybe the text could be from Sara, maybe her mom was just lying because she never really liked me. Perhaps Sara was still breathing... Maybe-

It wasn't a text from either Harry, my mum, or Sara. Surprisingly, it was Niall.

Hey Joyce! It's Niall, I stole your number from Harry's phone. He's acting kind of strange, like not talking too much like his old ways. Anyways are you okay? What happened?

-Ni

I added him to my contacts randomly.

Old ways? I wondered. I couldn't picture Harry ever being depressed, he always seemed so happy, and joyful. Then again, the happiest people are the most broken.

It hurt to know that I caused Harry this kind of pain. I never meant to hurt him, but that's what I do. I hurt people. That's all I'll ever do.

I replied to Niall:

Hey Ni. Oh, is he okay? I hope he's okay. Me? I'm fine. Nothing happened, Harry just finally realized there's better people out there.

I truly hope Harrys okay, I could never wish the feelings that I've had upon him. No matter what he's said to me.

I love you, but why would I waste my time on someone who will never feel the same?

The words stung like venom in my heart. Yet another blow to my chest. The piece I was hanging onto was growing thinner. More reasons to die getting longer.

The craving to live up there in peace was eating me alive. Negative thoughts filling up most of my mind.

Why was it such a big deal anyway? People told you to follow your dreams, but if I fulfill mine it'll be such a crime?

They told me to destroy what was killing me. I'm killing myself, I'm only doing what they asked.

The only way to kill the voices in my head was to kill myself.

Who needed me anyway?

I texted my mum,

Hi, I can't visit today. I'm not feeling too well.

That was basically true anyways.

My time would be soon. And when it came no one could stop me. I'll set myself free. Soon I'll be free.