Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Twelve

~:Chapter Twelve:~

I have been so detached from the Internet that I have forgotten about all of One Direction's beloved fans. What would they think of me?

I'm worried about what people think about me, but millions of people... I don't think I'm prepared.

It was never possible to check the fans thoughts about me in the institution, being the biggest boy bands

drummers sister must of gotten attention.

But now that I'm hanging out with the Harry Styles himself, what would the world think? I promised myself not to go on any social media where I would see hate, and I plan on keeping that promise.

My stomach churns with hunger, by now I finished puking up my food, feeling a bit better, besides the fact that my stomach won't stop growling. But I'm worried that after eating, the food would just come back up in the toilet.

Harry had left shortly after dropping me off at mine and Josh's flat. He had to go do rehearsals for the new album.

It had only been maybe two hours after Harry left, and already his name was showing up on my phone screen.

I answered after three rings, "Harry?"

"Hey Joyce." You can tell Harry has been smiling.

"Two hours already and you miss me?" I tease, feeling even better already.

"Oh so you're keeping track now?" Harry jokes back, with a teasing attitude.

I stumble with my words, but smile nevertheless. "Mhm, so why'd you call for?"

"I want you to come over to the boys and I's flat, figuring I always come to yours."

"I'm not aloud to leave the flat." I smirk, plopping myself down on the couch.

"That hasn't stopped you before." Harry points out and I can almost see his grin.

"Good point."

______________

"THE STORY OF MY LIFE I TAKE HER HOME, I DRIVE ALL NIGHT TO KEEP HER WARM AND TIME, IS FROZEN"

The boys are currently yelling the lyrics of their newly released song to me. As I mumbled along, (I barely knew any lyrics at all) the boys harmonized.

They are on twitter, too. Niall smiles down at his phone seeing the excited reactions of the fans on their single.

NIALL HAS TWO SOLOS OMG

HARRYS BEAUTIFUL VOICE I WANNA CRY.

LOUIS HAS THE VOICE OF AN ANGEL i

CLOUD ZAYN

LIAM'S SOLOS RAH.

I laugh as I read the positive tweets over Harry's shoulder.

"Wow they really love you guys," I admire. The boys are really down to earth and loving to their fans, it's pretty hard not to get attached to them.

Harry smiles and turns his head to look at me, our faces close. Harry turns back to the screen scrolling down, and I know he's still grinning.

"And time is froooo-ZEN.." Zayn reads aloud laughing. But I don't quite get it.

Harry notices my confused features and explains, "long story," Harry chuckled, me joining along.

Currently, Louis is showing me the Best Song Ever music video, because I've never heard it, or seen it.

"And I said Angelina I want to, I really want to."

As soon as Zayn playing Veronica, came in I bursted out laughing, looking at Zayn while laughing. Zayn smiles down at his hands shyly.

The part where they all start dancing in a line came, and I start dancing along.

"That was hilarious!" I exclaim once the video ended and the credits came on.

"We try." Harry smiles settling down beside me.

"The story of my life music video is coming out Wednesday, we'll have to show it to you," Louis smiles and my grin vanishes.

I had gotten a text a few days ago from Josh saying he would return soon. I miss my brother and all but I like it better when he left me alone, since he did all that time for three years anyway.

"Josh is coming home Wednesday," I sigh, slumping into the couch.

How would I explain what happened to Sara?

Sara I remember, after all that time with Harry I had long forgotten why I was so down in the first place. And then it strikes me, Sara's suicide, my loss.

I get up quickly dashing to the door, before the boys could question or see my sad face.

"I'll see you boys later," I rush, trying to sound normal but my voice cracks terribly.

Only Harry runs after me, catching me by the arm. "Joyce, Joy darling what's wrong?" Harry asks gently.

Despair hung upon me like a cloud, despair and disappointment in myself. I have been so weak, always crying, always brining people down. I feel disgusted and ashamed in myself.

The tears stop by force, and in a minute I'm smiling, a convincing smile.

"Nothing. I just need to go, I'll see you later Harry."

He seems like he's going to question me so I quickly and unexpectedly kissed his cheek. It's a small gesture, but Harry didn't see it coming.

And just like that, I was gone.