Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Three

~:Chapter Three:~

The following morning I woke up early. Well I barely went to sleep at all. Maybe because I was afraid the nightmares would haunt me, just like everyday in the institution. I cried invisible tears that night, ignoring the knocks on the door at 3 am telling me how sorry he was.

Currently, it's six-o-clock in the morning meaning, I got a minimum three hours of sleep. Sleep didn't matter to me anyways. I told myself that I could sleep all day if I wanted to. Just like I used to.

Finally, I built the strength to get out of bed, even if I didn't feel the need to. There was nothing worth getting up for anyway.

The scent of bacon and eggs came in my senses and my stomach growled. My usual routine was: go to bed at six in the morning, wake up at six in the afternoon. It was like that everyday in the summer three years ago, so I didn't have to face eating and got incredibly skinny. Unfortunately, that routine was broken once I got put in the institution.

I sat on the couch watching the television, but I zoned out not watching the Telly at all. My eyes only focused on it trying to block out the smell of bacon.

"Joyce," My brother pleaded, sitting next to me.

My knees were tucked to my stomach, my eyes trained on the T.V.

"Joyce," Josh called again staring at me.

I looked at him with a cold glare. "What? I snapped pinning Josh with my death stare.

"Look, I-I'm sorry I really am-"

"Just get to the point." I ordered looking back at the telly.

Josh sighed before continuing.

"Okay, you want to know why I didn't talk about you? Whenever they came to our flat I wouldn't let them in your room. The topic never really came up, they asked if I had siblings but I said no. Before you go off on me it was because I was protecting you. They would of asked where you were, and I wouldn't be able to answer. I was scared they were going to judge you, I'm was scared for you," Josh explained.

But I wasn't buying it.

"It's a simple question they were asking! You could of just told them you did, it's not like they asked for my life story!" I screamed

I wanted to believe my brother, I really did. But everything inside me screamed no, I was convinced that I was only a burden. That the reason Josh didn't want to tell the boys about me was because I meant nothing.

"Please, I'm sor-" Josh started only to be waved off by me.

"It's fine Josh," I said sighing, giving up and pulling an unconvincing smile.

Josh gave up, there was no use putting any effort in arguing. He got up leaving me alone on the couch left alone in my thoughts.

How can I be happy again? I asked myself over and over, begging for an answer.

Such a trick question that is. There's no going back once you've been consumed in such a dark place, a black hole.

It's like a one way road, you can't turn back you can only keep moving forward.

How can I be happy again? You can't just become happy all of the sudden. The question is, When will I be happy again.

That question won't be answered for who knows how long. It could be days, weeks, months, even years.

When will I be happy again?

Only time will tell.