Broken Beyond Repair

Chapter Fifteen

~:Chapter Fifteen:~

Emotions, such odd things. One moment they could be happy, then the next in a swift motion, they could be sad all together.

Thats what I was feeling, mixed emotions. I didn't love Harry, but it was a strong feeling I never quite felt before.

But the unknown emotion didn't overlap the grief and despair. It was almost like Harry was the only thing I had left.

The sound of the door opening shook me out of my thoughts.

"I'm home." The sound of my brothers voice startled me.

"Shit," I cursed. I had forgotten it was Wednesday today.

The flat was for sure a mess, everything was scattered on the ground. Cans, bottles, wrappers, you name it.

I heard Josh gasp, obviously because of the mess I caused.

"Joyce? What the hell?" His footsteps were louder as he neared my room.

The door flung open revealing an angry Josh, mad because of the trash in the flat.

My eyes were red from crying and sore from all the tears shed. Josh's eyes softened.

"Wh-what happened Joyce?" He looked at my bandaged wrist, his eyes filled with sadness and devastation.

"Sara-she's gone." I sobbed clutching my pillow.

Josh knew who Sara was, back when we lived at our parents house she used to come over almost everyday. She was almost like another sister to Josh. He knew how much Sara meant to me.

The feel of Josh running his fingers through my tangled hair almost comforted me. Maybe it did for the slightest second, but all that feeling was gone.

Finally, I put my big girl boots on and got a grip. Crying over Sara wasn't going to bring her back, only make me look even more pathetic than I am.

The tears just stopped abruptly, by force. I hated showing emotions, especially to someone who doesn't understand.

"I need Harry," I admitted. I might not want him, not want him to love or care about me because in the end he'll get hurt due to the fact I can't promise the same thing back to him.

But I desperately needed him. He was my ropes that held me together from falling apart. My boat that kept me from sinking no matter how much I wanted to deny it.

Harry is the light at the end of the tunnel.

And I need him.

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Harry couldn't make it no matter how much I called out to him. He had a life, and I couldn't keep him from it any longer.

It was only a matter of time before he realized it too.

He had rehearsals and offered me to come, but I didn't want to be a burden.

I found other ways to distract myself, to make the gape in my chest more bearable, and not in anyway that included harming myself. But it wouldn't be long before my plans failed.

My school work had fallen behind, so I decided to get on my laptop and do some of my online college courses. I had plans to become an actress but I doubted myself too much to even try.

Before I could get any real work done my phone started to vibrate. The number was an unknown caller and unknown number making everything more weird.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hello sweetie," my blood went cool and I swear I think my heart stopped momentarily hearing that all too familiar voice I feared I would hear.

It was my mother.

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Well sadly short :/ and from now on I'll be doing the story from Joyce's point of view.

Possibly I'll edit the whole story to Joyce's POV but that will take a lot of work.

Anyways, follow me on twitter @walltwerkharry

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Stay strong beauts ily

~:Grace:~