Technical Difficulties (A Flash Fanfic) (Complete)

Changes (Leah's POV)

 I'm not good with change. It scares me, it paralyzes me, and it makes me feel small and hopeless. With all the change that had gone on those past few weeks, I receded into my shell and became nothing. I hadn't left my small studio apartment in Central City for days. I had people to turn to but I was too afraid to talk- talking would only make it real. I had woke up every morning hoping that it wasn't. I didn't want any of it to be real. I didn't want to continuously feel this empty. That's what happens when you lose your other half, literally.

As awful as it was, I shut everyone out. I didn't answer anyone's calls. I read everyone's text but I didn't reply. I got one long text from my boyfriend, Drew and it read:

Drew: Babe, I'm sorry about everything that happened but you need to, talk to me. I've knocked on your door a couple of times, I know you're alive, I've seen you scrolling through Facebook a few times. Don't shut me out, Leah. You don't want to push the people you love away.

I still didn't reply though. Something made me think that he was going to make this about him and I wasn't in the mood. I needed my space and he was just going to have to respect that, be my boyfriend of 6 months or not, I needed time.

Two more weeks went by and the text and calls added up; 4 calls from Wells, Harrison Wells, my idol and my boss. 16 calls and 3 text from Caitlin, though I was almost positive she was the last person I wanted to see right now. Just seeing her would bring everything back and I wasn't sure I could do it just yet. Though I did miss her like crazy. Her text read:

Caitlin: hey, can we talk?
Caitlin: you're making everyone worried. No one has seen you in days. Do you need anything? Food? I can grab takeout and we can talk... Ronnie wouldn't want you to starve yourself, Leah.
Caitlin: at least I know you've read these so I know you're alive. And it's okay that you're not ready to talk, I get it... I miss Ronnie, too. And I wish he was here, he would know what to do to help comfort you. And me. When you're ready to talk, let me know. I'll be there in a flash. See you soon, I hope.

She wasn't too far off with the food thing but I was living off small things like ramen noodles and cheez-its. Only once did I sneak out to buy some groceries from the store right across the street. It was awful. There were a lot of happy people around that frowned when I walked by. I must've looked as awful as I felt.

I was positive that I had Cisco worried the most; 23 calls and 64 text. Most of them went like this:

Cisco: can we talk?
Cisco: hey, let's have another movie night!
Cisco: I haven't touched any of the Star Wars DVDs in days. It's not the same without you.
Cisco: hey, you promised to watch the Walking Dead series with me, is that still a go?
Cisco: I'm sorry, Lele.
Cisco: I miss Ronnie.
Cisco: I miss you.

It broke my heart to see my best friend trying so hard. He wanted to help me, to heal me. But how do you come back from your own twin brother dying? I missed Ronnie, I wasn't whole without him. He was literally my other half. "Half of the egg that made you," he would tease. Now the egg is broken and only half of it remains.

In the beginning, it was hard to even look in the mirror. Those light eyes and dark hair weren't just mine, they were his two and it haunted me, even in my sleep. The nightmares were constant, I would be so close to getting to the door of the particle accelerator but it always closed with Ronnie on the wrong side. The worst nightmare was when dream Cisco had turned to me and apologized for closing the door and I slapped him... I wanted to slap him so bad that night. But I knew, deep down, that he didn't have a choice. If he hadn't closed the door that night, we all could've been killed. Like Ronnie. My twin brother died a hero that night. A hero to me and a hero to Caitlin.

About two more weeks after that, I got a knock on the door. Except the voice was new. He has never made a trip to my place before.

"Leah, its Wells. Open up."